So…a friend and I were volunteering at a fundraising auction this week-end. And as we were closing down the event, I found the auctioneer’s business card over by the checkout stations. This is how it read:
Auctioneer. Counselor. Pastoral Care. Singing Telegrams.
That is the most RANDOM collection of mad skillz I’ve ever seen on one business card. But it makes a certain amount of cross-sell/up-sell business sense. If people really like her work as a counselor, then perhaps she’ll be top-of-mind when a singing telegram need arises. Brilliant!
What should I put on MY business card?!?
Blogger. Stay at home mom. Crocheter. Singing Telegrams.
As for the singing telegrams, just to be clear: I don’t really do Broadway Show Tunes or anything. Nor Barber Shop Quartet-y type stuff. In fact, I don’t really do singing telegrams at all. But if I did, I would specialize in Songs from the 80’s. And I’d have to have a few beers first.
But the ‘Singing Telegrams’ thing is SUCH an eye-catcher, that I’m gonna put it on my business cards anyway. And then I’m gonna have the business cards MADE. And then I’m gonna find a place where I can hand them out (to MORE than just my kids, ’cause they pay piss-poor wages). And then I’m gonna wait for the phone calls to roll in. At which point I’ll notify the unemployment office that I don’t need them OR their sorry 18.2% benefit-reduction.
Ok. Good plan.
But not yet, Unemployment Office! Not quite yet!! Don’t do anything with my benefits quite YET!!!
But the money’s coming soon, I can just tell. “Do what you love, and the money will follow.” That’s what my dear friend, Ohps*, always says. And I’m embracing that concept like never before. Don’t believe me? Just take a look at my business cards. I’m going places…and I’m singing the whole way there.
*Something you may not know about me is that Oprah Winfrey and I are dear friends. In fact, I know Oprah so well that I call her Ohps. Now that I think about it, though, I do have to say our friendship has been a bit one-sided in recent years. I mean, if you asked her about me, she’d probably say she’s never heard of me. But pay that no never mind. She still had some insightful stuff to say for a billionaire.