I came home from a tennis match the other eve to find this loverly display out front of the house.
It’s Sissy’s old potty. We had to get it replaced with a new one because the one you see here just decided to stop working when summer break came to a close and Sissy gasp! started highschool! Gasp!
Did you catch that part about Sissy gasp! starting HIGHSCHOOL?!? Gasp!
Which is completely, completely weird and not even possible because she just started kindergarten like…last year.
Nonetheless, the potty went kablooey and freshman year was finally upon us. Hubby and I both took Sissy to the first day of highschool – Hubby driving, me sitting in the front passenger seat crying into my sunglasses while Sissy sat in the back asking her father if I was crying into my sunglasses.
Whereupon Hubby would give me the side eye, then swivel his eyes front again and say, “Nope.”
“Really? Are you SURE she’s not crying?!? Is Mom CRYING??”
Side eye. Swivel front. “Nope.”
Not sure what he was trying to do there other than protect my dignity and save Sissy some embarrassment because she hates it when I cry. But eventually she caught me sneaking another tissue and responded with, “She IS crying! You ARE crying, Mom. I KNEW it!! Why did you lie to me!!!?”
Don’t involve me in this. I didn’t lie to you at all.
At which point the ride was almost over and I still hadn’t given my inspiring advice to her about how to have a successful highschool career. So despite the tears, I launch into my, “Just be as kind and lovely as you always are. Draw kind and lovely people to you. You’re going to have so much fun, Sweetheart. Work hard. And don’t ever let anyone sit alone in the lunchroom on your watch.” This last part trailed off into a high-pitched squeak and then weird laryngitis-like silence even though my mouth was still moving. See? Very inspiring.
Then we were at school. Sissy’s bestie was standing out front waiting for her. I jumped out of the car with Sissy, took completely non-embarrassing pictures of her and Bestie, hugged them both (again, completely non-embarrassingly) and they were off! First day of gasp! highschool. Gasp!
I cried the whole way home and eventually gave myself a full-blown migraine with visual aura which I at first mistook for a detached retina due to excessive crying.
Well, that was fun. And we got a new potty out of it.
So now I pose to you a question:
Potty oh-vah?! Or potty just gettin’ stah-ted??!
And see what I did there with the whole
party potty thing? Clever. So clever.