Sonny participated in the middle school wrasslin’ championship last week-end. Side Note: We call wrestling “wrasslin’” because calling wrestling “wrasslin’” funnies things up a bit. Trust me when I say wrasslin’ desperately needs a little funny-ing up.
But even if it’s not all hardy har har, wrasslin’ is a gentlemanly and brave sport.
Gentlemanly because the opponents shake hands before the match. Then afterwards, they shake hands again and also with their opponent’s coaches. All the hands wagging in the air must make it easier for everyone to hold back the tears after a loss.
And brave because once you get to be a certain age, you have to wear a singlet. And everyone knows that this is the singlet closest thing to being naked in public while wearing short-like items that you can get. I wouldn’t do it.
To make matters worse (for me, not Sonny, since he’s the brave wrassler in this story) they then force the wrasslers to walk around with their arms bare and their WEIGHT written on their BICEPS!!
If that doesn’t sound like some awful sorority hazing thing that leaves everyone crying no wonder why there’s so much crying I don’t know what does. And? They write the wrassler’s weight in permanent marker so sometimes Sonny will go three, four, five days with his weight proudly proclaimed on his bicep until it finally fades. The school shirt usually covers it up, but even so. Nightmare much? Imagine if you had to go out in public with your weight on your arm?! If it were me, I’d spend the whole day in a public bathroom stall gnawing on my fingernails or something.
Anyway, Sonny won! Sonny won 1st place in the “experienced” wrasslin’ division. How cool is that?! We are super proud of him – not only because some of the kids he wrassles sound like foghorns and have back acne while Sonny still gets mistaken for his sister on the phone – but also because he brings gentlemanly and brave to every match he’s in. He also brings sweaty-head-that-smells-like-feet-afterwards, but that’s beside the point.