Five Years Old

My blog is now FIVE YEARS OLD! Can you believe I’ve been offering witty insights to the blogosphere for that long?! I’ve been offering witty insights live and in person for far longer, but that’s not the point.

You know who else is closing in on five? Our darling dog, TeddyBear. He’s the cutest little feller though somewhere along the way ohhhhh about year four point five we learned that Teddy couldn’t close his mouth all the way.

Sissy suffered from the same issue and so her braces were taking FOREVER to straighten her teeth out. Until the appointment where Toofuses Doc discovered that the top and bottom edges of her canine teeth were slamming into eachother so he filed ‘em down and voila! Straight albiet needley teeth. Wish I’d taken an emery board to that nonsense sooner.

Anyway, Teddy suffers from the same issue where his top and bottom canines prevent his mouth from closing all the way. As a result, his front teeth are a bit…lacking…in their alignment and we don’t love him enough to get him braces.  So now he has a bad case of what Sissy’s bestie calls “little kitty teeth” and Hubby calls, “teeth that look like tombstones in an Irish graveyard” because they’re tinier than normal and all slanted this way and that.

But in honor of how much we love him and to celebrate a bit early his fifth birthday, we each created a poem for him portraying him as another creature. No, this is NOT weird in anyway and yes, this IS what you do for dogs you don’t love enough to get braces, thanks for asking. Also?  He would never wear his retainers afterwards, so there’s that argument too.

Without further ado, here are our original Odes to Teddy-as-another-creature poems in no particular order.

Teddy is a little lamb
He plays the fiddle in a little lamb band
The ‘and.

Teddy is a little kitty
His front teeth are itty, bitty
And his breath is really sh**ty
But he’s so cute and so pretty.

Teddy is a little bear
He hurt his paw flying through mid-air
What is the lesson there?
Always beware the l’il bear dare.

Teddy is a little man
He plays the fiddle in a little man band
The ‘and.