Ab Ripper X!

Really…I can’t stress this enough…Tony Horton is full-on nuts!

Tone-ster, Dude!  You’re totally brilliant!  But there’s a light of insanity that burns in your eyes the likes of which I’ve only seen one other time.

Picture it.  July 1990.  I’m a newly minted college grad (double major – Business and French) searching for “international jobs” in New York City.  In the middle of a garbage strike.  In July.  In New York City.

But I’m feelin’ fly!  How fresh and shiny I am!!  Got my new interview suit on, complete with shoulder pads, contrasting pocket square and matching spectator pumps!  Rockin’ it!  In July.  In New York City.  In the middle of a garbage strike.

Garbage is piled higher than my head on every street corner.

A homeless man comes up to me and says “how you like the smell, Pretty Girl?  You got a dolla’ fuh me??”  Why yes, yes I do.  In fact, here’s $5 for your trouble.  Exit stage left.

And I started interviewing for Human Resources jobs in New Jersey the very next day.

But the look in that man’s eyes?!  That “do as I say; fall in line with me and we will see victory this day!” look?  Along with the “aren’t I funny and loony-tunes all at the same time” attitude??  That’s got Tony Horton written all over it!

And to answer your unspoken question, Tony?  Yes.  Yes, your Ab Ripper X is aptly named.  After one go, my abs are ripped.  Into little shreds.  And hanging outside my body and dripping blood all over the floor.  And I can actually feel them every time I blink my eyes.


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