Liquor Store

What with all of the upcoming opportunities to drink…er…I mean the holidays, I’ve been in the liquor store more than usual lately.

And even though I’m now a sanctioned adult and fully authorized to be there, I still feel weird about it.

Is it just me on that one?!

Because I’m always vaguely worried someone may have called ahead from college through the tightly interconnected liquor store network and warned them I’m on my way.  So by the time I get there, I feel like everyone at the store is spying me with their little eyes and they know, KNOW, about the very wrong Flaming Dr. Pepper Shots Incident backintheday.  (In my own defense, I didn’t spill the drink that caused the bartop to go up in those weird blue flames.  That was someone else.  I was just the Idea Gal on the Flaming Dr. Pepper Shots.)

Or perhaps my feeling of unease comes from being at the liquor store in the middle of the day, when it’s so oddly quiet and everyone’s got their peepers on each other being all judge-y about stuff that happened a million years ago.

I mean, who even GOES to liquor stores in the middle of the day?!?

I was wondering that very question the last time I was at the liquor store doing a little holiday booze hunting when I say him.  Him!  Neighbor Man.

No, not Helpful Next Door Neighbor Man.  (You still have to get yourself one of those if you haven’t already.).  It was the Neighbor Man who got so loop-de-looped at the last block party that he stumbled up to Sonny who for some reason was dragging around his squeaky red wagon, and asked for a ride home.  Sonny agreed, so 6’5” Neighbor Man folded himself into the wagon whereupon Sonny brought him home then came back to the party with an empty wagon and a two dollar tip.

And there you have it.  THAT is who is in the liquor store in the middle of the day.  That Neighbor Man.

Well, and me.  Thanks for bringing that up.  So you can just shut it now.  And you know what else you can just shut it about?   That Flaming Dr. Pepper Shots thing from college.  I’m sorry I ever brought that up.

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