Fifty Nifty United States

I have three party tricks I’m very proud of.  In fact I fantasize that I might meet the Queen of England at an after-hours party and she asks me to perform one of these tricks and when I do she knight’s me on the spot (“dame’s me” sounds STUPID!  Women get ripped off constantly).  Or she has some of her footmen carry me around on their shoulders and buy me drinks after which she invites me to the Riviera to join her on her yacht.

In case something like that happens, I’m ready with the following:

1) being able to tie a maraschino cherry stem into a knot with my tongue

2) saying the entire Greek alphabet before the lit match I’m holding burns all the way down to my fingers and

3) being able to SAY all fifty United States in alphabetical order.  When I was in grade school, our music teacher taught us a song called, “Fifty Nifty United States.”  As part of the song, you sing all fifty states – in alphabetical order.  So yes, when I put my mind to it, I can SAY all fifty states in alphabetical order.

But in honor of America’s birthday…who wants to say it??  SING IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT!

[singing now]

FIFTY!  NIFTY!  United States.  From thirteen original colonies.  Shout ’em!  Scout ’em!  Tell all about ’em!  One by one ’til we’ve given each state a name….in the U – S – A!

[from memory – in alphabetical order – I mentioned from memory, right?]

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming

Happy Fourth of July TO ALL!


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