Let’s see. What are we doing this summer….
Well, I just borrowed the 4-book-series of Game of Thrones. It’s 3,456 pages long. So that will keep me busy for a while. There’s also tennis, of course. But you knew that already. The new dog needs to be walked twice a day. So there’s that. And certain people in my house continue to want meals, so the planning and execution on that will keep me somewhat busy. Another thing is, I’ve gotta apply for federal extended unemployment benefits – which you KNOW is gonna take way too much time (and require a whole series of blog posts). Then there’s also…….
Wait! What?!? What’s that you say??
Enough about ME…what are my KIDS doing this summer?!
You’re asking me this because — gulp! — I’M in charge of my kids for the summer?!??
I remember when the kids were newborns and the hospital let me slip out the front door with my bundle-of-joy and a total of ONE “how to bathe your baby” class under my belt. That was it. That was the extent of the preparation I received on feeding, clothing, loving and in general not-only-keeping-my-newborn-alive-but-having-them-grow-into-well-adjusted-intelligent-and-successful-adults.
Well that’s the way I feel about this summer. Poorly qualified and utterly ill-prepared.
For every OTHER summer of their lives, the kids have been in daycare, then summer camp, then they’ve had nannies (nannies are the BEST! You can breeze out the door to work while the kids are still sleeping even) and babysitters. You name it, they’ve done it. Just not with ME. The weight of a fun summer has always rested on someone ELSE’S shoulders.
But now? All me. All the time! And where’s the class on this?? Where’s the class on this WHEN YOU NEED IT?!??!
Heck YEAH! YEAH, I’M PANICKED!!! Because it turns out it’s REALLY HARD to actually DO a fun summer yourself. Heretofore, it was easy. It was EASY to tell the 19-year-old nanny to do it for me. Actually doing it MYSELF?? That’s really, really hard.
‘Cause…uh…what do I even DO? And when I say DO, I mean WHAT DO I EVEN DO WITH MY OWN CHILDREN FOR THE NEXT TWO-AND-A-HALF MONTHS?!?? [Besides bathing them. Which is all I feel qualified to do. Because THAT I had a class on. But it seems like kindof a weird summer activity now that the kids are 9 and 10.]
As a side note, I gotta tell you I’m pretty sure I’ve already cut off my nose to spite my face. I limited the kids’ t.v. watching to ONE HOUR per day this summer. T.V. Watching was Summer Plan A. (Talk about being a frickin’ moron. Who eliminates Summer Plan A right out of the gate?? Moron.)
So it’s hammer down now and Summer Plan B is in full effect. Summer Plan B is…technically…nothing. But I’m calling it “Whatever comes up, as it comes up.” That has a better ring to it.
And it just so happens that I caught my son reading the Dr. Seuss-y “Great Day for UP” to the dog last night and thought to myself, “Okey doke. Time for some more age-appropriate reading material.” So this morning I signed both kids up for the Summer Reading Program at the local library. They’ll get fun prizes based on how much they read with the side benefit of giving us someplace to go every once-in-a-while.
I’m now calling Summer Plan B, “A brilliant plan if I do say so myself.”
AND?? While I was signing the kids up for the reading program, I noticed that the library had a free class on how to make and use your own stilts. STILTS?! Who doesn’t LOVE stilts?? Stilts are superfun!!! In fact, they’re so fun that I’m gonna observe the class so that I can make my own stilts when I get home. Hey! It’s MY summer too, ya know.
And that’s it. Those are the plans. Do I need more plans than that?? ‘Cause really – nothin’ says “fun summer” like a good book and a pair of stilts!!!