Slimming Panel

Must EVERY pair of pants at Kohl’s have the Top Secret Slimming Panel?!?  I actually call it the Totally Obvious Blubbing Panel.  Because it emphasizes the blub by PUSHING it from mild belly pooch status to UP-AND-OVER-THE-TOP BLUB FEST U.S.A.!!!

But as my husband so perceptively points out, “Blubbing Panel” wouldn’t really be a good marketing gimic, would it?  Excellent point, Sweetie.

Regardless.  Kohl’s – please stop.  If I wanted a slimmer panel, I’d do something totally ludicrous like embark on a 90 day death march towards fitness (hear that, Tony!?  I’m talking about P90X, Ya Jackdaw).  I sure as heck wouldn’t buy it at Kohl’s with my 30% off coupon and $10 Kohl’s cash for every $50 spent.

And I don’t need my lack of success with said death march PUSHED (UP AND OVER) in my face.  So stop it.  Just a variety of relaxed-waist pants would be fine.  I’m not saying Karen Scott/Alfred Dunner elastic (I have my standards), I’m just saying ix-nay on the slimming anel-pay.  O-kay?

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