Yesterday I was running on the treadmill, reading my bookclub book AND watching the Today Show. Multitask much? Hey! You’re talkin’ to the same chick who went to grad school full-time AND worked full-time. Or who worked full-time AND chaired the annual school fundraiser THREE YEARS IN A ROW. So don’t mess with me. I’ll TELL you I’ll cut you in the parking lot…then I’ll CUT YOU in the parking lot.
While I was running/reading/watching the Today Show, there was a segment warning all of America that they should NOT be putting various bumper stickers on their car.
For example, those stick figure family decals? They let criminals know that sharp, thin people live at your house. And that one of those people might do baseball and the other ballet. Which means that they might follow you to ballet practice and steal your pink toe-shoes.
Or those “My student soars at Eaglecrest Middle School” bumper stickers let criminals know where your kid goes to school and when you might be dropping him off.
So they can race over to the school and watch you drop your kid off. Then steal his lunch.
Yes…it’s all very frightening. But what the Today Show DIDN’T mention, was the zombies. In my opinion, not mentioning the zombie activity engendered by these bumper stickers was a real mis-step on their part. Because it leaves the entire population unaware of all of the negative zombie ramifications.
Can you see this back window decal which I took a picture of during my own investigative reporting stint when I was reporting on bad reporting? It says, “Zombies Ate My Stick Figure Family – insert bloody zombie hands here – Yours Is Next.”
See? Zombies are the real problem here. Why doesn’t anyone ever mention the zombies??