Election Day

As I learned from my 3rd grader during his recent study of the branches of the government: voting is both a right AND a responsibility of citizens.

So I voted today.

And all I gotta say is that we are the best country in the world.  So why can’t you people wash before you cast your ballots?!?

It was fine when we were standing outside in the bracing 32 degree/7 am weather…but once you get into the warm building and weave through the annoying amusement park ride line (as in wait! I thought this line was short but it loops back on itself and then goes into a whole OTHER ROOM!!!  Gaaaahhh!!!) – the lack of (others’) personal hygiene becomes evident.

And for the love of all that’s holy, more teeth brushing, Folks!  Please!!!

And to the dude in the blue North Face fleece jacket?  You gotta get one of those lint rollers for pet hair because either your cat has been sitting on your jacket or you’ve been sitting on your cat. It’s a total mess from where I’m standing (behind you).

And to the jokey group on my left?  No, those of us here before 7:30 are not having their names entered for a $1,000 drawing.

And to the lady standing behind me in line?  Good for you for voting for the first time.  The only question here is – how did you get to be about 50 (judging by the face wrinkles is all) without ever having voted before!?!

The “drive by” mail-in ballot arrangement they had going on in the parking lot looked pretty sweet and I’ve made a mental note to pursue for future years.

And it bears mentioning at this point that my husband was saving me a spot in line while I got the kids off to school (and possibly curled my hair & put on makeup), but then he had to go inside so I lost my place in line. Jerk!  Every citizen for himself apparently.

But the news cameras are here so perhaps the hair/make-up delay might be worth it in the end.  My big break might happen right here in the polling place! Surely if they’re going to interview an upstanding citizen, they would interview me over the chick still in her jammies?!?

For the record it’s really hard to vote:

  • while you’re worried you have to go to the bathroom pretty bad
  • there’s a guy aggressively sniffing his nose next to you
  • there’s a newscaster behind you reporting on the traffic (?!) and catching your worst camera angle (the fat a$$ angle, perhaps you’ve heard of it?!  Turns out big break was a big bust)
  • all while surreptitiously trying to remove your cute, floaty gray sweater from some weird Velcro tab on the voting machine without knocking down an entire row of lightweight voting machines made up mostly of black cardboard and Velcro tabs.

But all’s well that ends well.  I got me one of them there coveted “I Voted” stickers that you see plastered on the parking lot out front ’cause they fall off pretty easily.  I got it in a weird, unintended handing-out-the-diploma sort of way as I turned in my electronic ballot card there at the end.

Right AND responsibility accomplished!

I voted!

I voted!


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