The Murder of Roger Ackroyd

School year’s almost over.  Ya know how I can tell?  Sissy has started reading an Agatha Christie murder mystery in literature class.


I mean…it’s not as bad as if she were reading old Archie comic books, but it almost is.   [Agatha Christie fans, please do not contact me.  I’m just funnin’ with ya.  Ms. Christie was a quality writer who demonstrated great insight into the murderous human psyche.  But really, what she has to do with sixth grade lit class, I just don’t know.  As for the Archie comic books fans?  You also should not contact me.  But in your case, I’m totally serious; that stuff was crap.  And that part where Archie started dating Josie from Josie and the Pussycats?  Barf.  Jump the shark much?  And a way better title for that comic book series would have been, “Boy gingers don’t make good comic book heroes.”]

Anywho.  The title of the book Sissy is reading is, “And Then There Were None.”  When she got home from school today, she was so excited about it that she had to read the opening poem to me.  It’s about ten soldier boys.  Something happens to each one along the way… AND THEN (eventually) THERE WERE NONE!

Me to Sissy:  Huhn.  You know what’s weird about that?  Back when I was your age, I remember the poem being about Indians.  In fact, I remember the book being called something else.  Something like, “Ten Little Indians.”  But I suppose that’s not politically correct anymore. 

Sissy, acting surprised that I actually know sh*t about sh*t, explained that yes, the book was called “Ten Little Indians” at one point.  But prior to THAT, the poem it was based on was originally called “Ten Little Niggers.”

Ok.  That veered waaaaaay south.

And again, I say unto you, what does any of this have to do with sixth grade lit class?  “Ten Little NIGGERS?!??”  Holy Politically Incorrect, Batman! 

But speaking of Agatha Christie, does anyone else remember, as a tween, sitting at the kitchen table listening to their two older sisters argue about a DIFFERENT Agatha Christie book, “The Murder of Roger Ackroyd?”  Remember how one sister blurted out that the narrator did it – and effectively ruined the entire book for not only the sister she had been quarreling with, but also the sweet, kind, loving (not to mention totally cute-as-a-button) tween sister sitting at the kitchen table?!?!!

No?  You don’t remember any of that?!?  Hmmm.  You must have completely forgotten about it just like your mother said you would after she came to smooth over the ruined-Agatha-Christie-book-situation between your older sisters.

Yep.  Must’ve completely forgotten about it.  Phew.  That was a close one.

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