We Catholics do this fun thing the week before Easter. We put on a play.
But I somehow miss that Palm Sunday casting call every year, so I’m stuck in the General Ensemble with the rest of the rabble-rousers. The priest, on the other hand, always gets the leading role. (I suspect it’s because he’s the only one who can pronounce Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani.)
Anyway, the rabble-rousers have to shout horrible things at the priest-playing-Jesus like, “Crucify him!” and “Give us Barabbas!”
It’s just dreadful. And I feel so awful doing it, that I read the lines straight. No emotion, no nuthin’. But there’s always a few in the crowd who get a liiiiiittle too into it. Uh…we’re working for free here, so settle down.
That sort of thing goes on for a good long while. It’s a regular adventure – complete with swordplay, roosters crowing (glad I didn’t get THAT part) and some business about 30 silver shekels and a potter’s field (glad I didn’t get THAT part either!). Then darkness covers the land. The crucifixion we called for earlier has come to pass and a stone is rolled in front of Jesus’ tomb; Roman soldiers are set as guards.
So frustrating. We never do end that scene on a high note even though we’ve been putting on this play for a number of years now.
How does it end? HOW does it END?!?
Nope. You’re left hanging [bad Judas Iscariot pun, please disregard] and invited to come back NEXT Sunday to find out how it ends.
And that NEXT Sunday? THAT’S the best part. That’s when the Easter Bunny comes and brings you candy.
See? Isn’t that the BEST?!! YAY! You have jelly beans now! And chocolate!!
And everyone’s acting like no one heard anyone (including the overzealous wackjobs in the back) shouting, “CRUCIFY HIM, CRUCIFY HIM!” Like all of that has been forgiven or somethin’.
The only thing that could POSSIBLY make Easter Sunday any better than it already is, is finding out how last week’s play ends.
***SPOILER ALERT!***Jesus rises from the dead.
NOW end scene. And Happy Easter.