Ice Dancing

In order to have any sort of logical conversation about Ice Dancing, it’s important to get the “Twizzle” definition out of the way…

“Twizzle” is a rum-based drink they hand you as you’re boarding the booze cruise on the fake pirate ship in the Bahamas during Spring Break.  What it has to do with Ice Dancing, I can’t say.  Maybe it makes the skaters loose-limbed enough to do all those one-footed twirls?  They all do lots of those twirls, just exactly the same, so this is quite likely the explanation. 

If it were me?  All that twirling would make the rum twizzles suddenly…reappear!  Ta-da!  Rough seas ahead, matey!  But these are professional skaters.  Dancers.  Skaters.  So they’re used to all the twirling, post-rum drinks. 

So now that we have that out of the way, let’s discuss Ice Dancing, shall we?  Have I ever SEEN Ice Dancing before?  It seems like I have.  But then, when the announcers mention that this couple or that couple were the silver medalists from the last Olympics – and they don’t look familiar to me at ALL – I think maybe I haven’t ever seen Ice Dancing afterall.

But now I’m on it.  And I’ve got Meryl and Charlie locked in my brain.  Congrats on the gold medal, by the way.  Did the Canadian couple jump you in the parking lot on the way out?  ‘Cause they looked like they wanted to.  But maybe they’re saving that for when y’ins get home?  That way they can include your/their coach-with-the-bangs in the takedown.  So I’ll totally remember them for NEXT Olympics.  And in case YOU can’t picture them, Meryl is the one who looks the most like the Disney Princess Jasmine of any living human on earth.  And Charlie looks like the actor Jeff Daniels in that movie “Dumb & Dumber.”  It’s the hair.

But you know who I’ll REALLY remember for next time when it comes to Ice Dancing?  That brother and sister team – Alex and Maia Sibutanis.   First off, they come in handy when I’m threatening my kids about their behavior towards each other, “If you can’t get along, I’m gonna make you go into ICE DANCING like the Sibutanis.  And then you’ll have to be together ALL THE TIME.  ON THE ICE.  DANCING!”  

But in addition to being used as an example of brotherly/sisterly love, they  danced…skated…danced…their last dance…skate…dance…to a Michael Jackson compilation.  Come on!  That was so frickin’ awesome!!! 

The rest of the competitors talked to my older sisters about what music they should use in their programs (I’m 100% sure I heard the Love Theme from Romeo and Juliet as well as “To Dream the Impossible Dream” from Man of La Mancha – two of my sisters’ piano sheet-music faves from back in the day).  And when they weren’t talking to my sisters, they were talking to my high school choir director, Mr. Beavers.  Because there was LOTS of 42nd Street (on the avenue I’m takin’ ya to…Forty.  Second.  Street!) and even a “Bei mir bist du schon” by the Andrew Sisters.  (Bei mir bist du schon?  Please let me explain.  Bei mir bist du schon means that you’re….GRAND!  Ok…stopping now.  But first?  I could say “bella, bella” even say “wunderbar!”  Each language only helps me tell you how GRAND you are!  Ok.  Totally stopping.)

But the Sibutanis talked to ME about their music, and thus I recommended some 80’s tunes.  ‘Cause you know how I love me some 80’s tunes.  I also suggested more “Thriller Hands” for their program.  (“Thriller Hands” are when you bring your claw-like hands up on one side of your face and quickly move them to the other side of your face.  Like you’re a zombie.  In an 80’s music video on MTV.  That you and your older sisters waited up until midnight to watch the world premiere of…in 1983 boo-yah!)   But they didn’t take me up on THAT suggestion even though you have to admit that “Thriller Hands” woulda been fun.

But now?  I am ON it when it comes to Ice Dancing.  I will totally remember Meryl and Charlie.  And that angry Canadian couple.  And those Russian Black Swans.  And for sure-sies the Sibutanis for next time.  Yep.  On IT!  All OVER it!  Just like white on ICE.  Hee-hee-hee.

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