Hey Dad!  I love you and just wanted to say….Happy Father’s Day to you! (cha cha cha) Happy Father’s Day TOOO you! (cha cha cha)  Happy FAAther’s Day, Dear DAAaaad! (cha cha cha) Happy Father’s Day to yooooooou! (cha cha cha hi-ya)

And now a brief word on Father’s Day cards….

Why are they ALL so sappy?  With terrible graphics??  And all in…BROWN???

How ’bout that card with the close-up of the lawnmower on the front?  Or the artistic shot through the rope mesh of a hammock??  A HAMMOCK?!?  Is this the sum total of what we think of our fathers??

The worst part is that, with the gold cord-and-tassle detailing, plastic overlayer (are there going to be a lot of spills so we need a protectant of some sort??!), and three pages of text proclaiming your love FOR them and detailing WHY you love them (why you loved them as an innocent child/as a selfish teenager/as an adult grownup-to-grownup, they fix things around the house, taught you how to throw a baseball blah, blah, blah)…..you’re payin’ $5.99 for the privilege!  BARF!!  [the reason for the plastic overlayer now becomes clear]

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure MY dad does NOT appreciate this drivel.  Heck – I don’t appreciate this drivel.

And the cards you can get for your HUSBAND for Father’s Day?  The ones in the section entitled “To the Man I Love on Father’s Day”??    These are quite possibly WORSE than the ones you can get for your father.  Same horrible colors and embellishments, but these have cartoon-y pictures of mice-in-love on the front.  Or sometimes even rabbits?  RABBITS?!??  Ugh.  AND barfity, barf, BARF!!  

Me?  I go for the “Special 99-Cents Section” cards that have varying-sized stars on the front in a few bright-yet-masculine colors, and just state outright – Happy Father’s Day!  You’re the best.  I add a little “I love you” and ‘nuf said.

Happy Father’s Day to all, and to all a good night!

P.S.  Hubby – even though you’re not my dad, I’m still wishing you a Happy Father’s Day because I MADE you a dad.  Now, I’ve made you do MANY things over the years….but I’ve always been proud that I made you a dad.  I love you!