Anyone else doing this annoying thing where they go to Sprouts with their weekly ad in hand and buy whatever produce is on sale that week?  I mean who cares if no one in the family likes eggplant (1 for 99 cents) or mangos (3 for a dollar).  The price is right and you’ll eat what I make for you.  And you’ll enjoy it.  You’ll enjoy it as soon as I figure out how to make it.  With a recipe that doesn’t involve going to Olive Garden for eggplant parm take-out.

As for the mangos, I don’t need any recipes.  I just need to know how to cut those slippery sumbitches.

And you know what else I bought while I was there?  Herbs (say it the way Martha Stewart says it, or don’t say it at all).  Fresh herbs.  Let’s see…from the “3 plants for $10” table I bought chives, parsley and lemon thyme.  And from a separate table I bought basil.  (2 plants for $4 – because who doesn’t LOVE basil?!  Except for my kids.  Who are weird and annoying with their anti-herb stance on life.)

Not only will I be saving money this summer (especially when you consider that a bunch of herbs at the grocery store costs $2.99-$3.99 each but now I have my own replenishing supply) – but I’ll finally be living the Herb Dream I’ve always wanted to live because I have the TIIIIME and energy to do so.  I’ll transplant these herbs into cute pots and place them on my kitchen windowsill where they will flourish.  And I will endlessly be sprinkling chopped chives or parsley over every dish I make so as to add some fun color and flavor to every meal.  All the ideas I’ve ever seen in Good Housekeeping and/or Home & Gardens for cute, fun, zippy herb dishes will finally be mine!  Mine I say!!!  I mean, who doesn’t LOVE salad caprese for dinner on a warm summer day?  Or how about a flavorful omelet sprinkled with chives on a lazy Sunday morning?  And who’s not willing to at least TRY a bite of goat cheese drizzled with olive oil and sprinkled with lemon thyme.  Anyone?  Anyone??  Right!  I rest my case.

The problem is that the plants will never get repotted.  I’ll forget to water them.  They’ll get too much sun.  They’ll die within the week.  I’ll resort to sprinkling rancid, dead stuff on my family’s food.  Everyone will get the runs.  And I’ll be out fourteen bucks.

I should have just driven past Sprouts and thrown fourteen bucks out the window of the car – along with their %^&*ing flyer – and saved myself some TIIIIME and herb angst.

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