Anyone else watching Game of Thrones? Probably all of you and it’s only my husband and I who are TOTALLY late to this particular party. In fact, recently, my husband was even calling it Game of THORNS! (What?! That was just totally clueless, Honey.) But that just goes to show you how out-of-the-loop we are on this show.
You see, we usually watch all of the various Housewives series-es. But those shows have devolved into five-part reunions and lost footage episodes. Yawn. (Although Housewives of NJ comes back next week and I gotta say I’m gettin’ excited about it. I’m morbidly fascinated by the train wreck that show has become.)
If I HAD been watching THORNS since it started, I would know what’s going on. But by joining it in the last month or so? Not so much…and I feel like I felt in every episode I ever watched of Lost. But with Lost, I didn’t even know where that show was taking place. At least with THORNS, I’m pretty sure it takes place in Middle Earth. Unless you’re watching that bizarre sub-plot where it’s taking place in Egypt. But during Middle Earth times. With that chick and her unnaturally blond hair and her army of 10,000 Unsullied (which she traded her pet dragon for…but then had the dragon bbq the dude she traded the dragon TO and she walked away with BOTH the Unsullied army AND the dragon. Brilliant!). Or that OTHER subplot where it’s taking place on that ice planet where Luke Skywalker got captured by the Yeti and taken to its ice-cave.
But mostly it takes place in castles where they call the women “Mi’lady.” I love me some “Mi’lady!” I am a total sucker for it.
One time my husband and I went out to eat at a high-end steak house for our anniversary. The waiter called me Mi’lady (“What would Mi’lady like to drink?”) and that was all she wrote (“Your special pineapple martini please, tee hee hee!!”). One of the best meals EVER! AND we left him a big tip!!
But as much as I like all of the Mi’lady business…it’s kinda hard to take some of the actors seriously since these are the same actors who star in Dr. Who (not the super weird old one, but the slightly less weird/slightly better special effects one from nowadays) and/or the English version of The Office. I know that these folks actually work in an office with computers or can time-travel so I’m constantly wondering when they’re gonna trot out those mad skillz.
And what’s up with John Snow? Who is he?! And why do we care???
The following conversation about John Snow typifies every conversation my husband and I have during Game of THORNS. [Oy. Really? THORNS?!? It’s so dumb that I have to keep saying it and annoy myself in the process. Thorns.]
Me: Who are those tweens in the forest? And that one with all the furs covering his legs. Can he not walk?
Hubby: I dunno.
Me: And why is that epileptic one dreaming about John Snow?
Hubby: He wasn’t having an epileptic fit. He was having a vision. He can look through the eyes of animals and see what’s happening in another place.
Me: Oh. Yeah. Right. Anyway…who IS John Snow? Is he that guy we just saw walking through the snow? And what’s the icewall he’s “on the other side of” from the epileptic tween’s dream??
Hubby: I dunno.
[cut to a scene where a red-haired chick keeps calling the guy she’s with, “John.” She’s mackin’ on him, but there’s no nudity – unlike ALL the other mackin’ scenes in the show. I suspect it’s because they’re in the SNOW! D’oh! Nudity here would be gratuitous and dumb. Unlike all the other nudity which is totally necessary to move the plot forward. And now I’m starting to realize why my husband likes to watch the Game of THORNS. Oy. It’s for the nudity. Not the scintillating Mi’ladies! Which is what I’m watching it for. Anyway…I’m now almost certain the man-in-the-snow IS John Snow. Red-haired chick and Possibly-John-Snow just came through a harrowing incident climbing the snowy mountain where they slipped off and they were cut loose at the direction of their co-worker from The Office. But John Snow managed to save them both and they finally get to the top of the mountain. The clouds part. John and Red-haired chick look every which way. They see lush green lands and flowing rivers everywhere they look. Which is weird. Why would there be a snowy mountain in the middle of Africa? And why would they climb it instead of just going around??]
Me: Ok. What? I don’t get this. Why is there a snowy mountain in the middle of this warm place?? This show is annoying. I can never figure out what’s going on.
Hubby: Uh…it’s a wall. It’s the icewall. John just got to ‘the other side of’ the ice wall.
Me: Oh. [Gaaah! Whatever, Mr. Mi’lady. Uh…I dunno…at least I never called it Game of THORNS! Oy.]