But remember when it was “Take Our DAUGHTERS to Work Day”??
And I was all, “That’s right. Girl Power! Whoop…whoop! Not sure why you boys get to rule the world but there’s a new generation comin’ and you better watch out!! R – O – C – K in the U – S – A! R – O – C – K in the U – S – A! Yeah, Yeah…Rockin’ in the U-S-A!*”
[or something to that effect]
And I was sooooo excited to have a daughter so I could bring her to work with me and make a powerful statement about women…and working mothers. To both her AND me.
But then they changed it to “Take our daughters AND SONS to work day” and it lost some of its momentum. Partially because the name is way too long. What’s up with that? And also because it ticked me off a bit. I was like, “The sons have ENOUGH advantages. Why do they get to horn in on the daughters’ day.” And also, my daughter was only one at the time…so really, what was the point? She’d mostly be drinking a bottle, pooping in her pants and napping. Girl Power!!
And then, when she was in her toddler years, I found some other excuse not to take her (I was on maternity leave with my son…I paid a ton of money for daycare so why should I watch her for the day when I’m paying someone else to do that??…I can’t be sure she won’t blurt out something unflattering about a co-worker…I’m just plain ‘ol exhausted and couldn’t make the effort to take her to work AND work…etc.)
And then, she was in grade school and…really, she wouldn’t catch on to the point because she was just in kindergarten….she had a test that day AND a project due…there was a field trip…etc.
I didn’t have a job. [Please insert depressing “you lost” game show noise here: wah-wah-waaaaah]
And the point is now moot.
And I regret ALLLLLLL those times I could have taken my daughter to work with me and didn’t. (Well…and my son too…because let’s face it, turns out those monkeys need SOME help. It remains a mystery to me why guys get to rule the world when they start out AS TOTAL MONKEYS!!!)
But really? What was I gonna do THIS year?? Let the kids stay home and clean the bathrooms? Sit on the couch and knit?! Bake a batch of brownies?? Naw. Not so much.
So what’s the life lesson here? Surely there’s a life lesson?! [Yes. There’s a life lesson, and stop calling me Shirley. Hardy har har. Hey! Ya gotta “funny” it up a bit otherwise the regret sticks in your throat – along with your unshed tears – and it becomes really hard to swallow.]
I’m reminded of that Robert Burns poem “To A Mouse”: But Mousie, thou art no thy lane, In proving foresight may be vain: The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men, Gang aft agley.
In English please?
But little Mouse, you are not alone, In proving foresight may be vain: The best laid schemes of mice and men, Go often awry.
[or something to that effect]
I would have substituted “mothers and daughters” or “mothers and children” or “working mothers and daughters AND sons” for the “mice and men” section. But then it seemed too long…and it lost some of its momentum…so I decided not to. But you get the point, right??
* John Cougar. No, wait! John Cougar Mellencamp. NO! Wait!! John Mellencamp. 1985 – Scarecrow album. And we’re back to the “80’s song for every moment in life” theory I have espoused all along. I rule!!! But also, this is proof that even rockstars’ plans gang aft agley. I mean, there he was…thinking he’d name himself after a predatory cat…and R-o-c-k the U-S-A. When all-a-sudden his mom got p.o.’d that he turned his back on his birth name. So he had to change his name BACK. But over time. No sudden moves, folks. Take your hands out of your pockets and don’t make any sudden moves! Which brings us to, “The best laid plans of mice and men and rockstars and working mothers and daughters AND sons…” No? Still too long?? Ok. Well, I’m done here. I gotta go clean the bathrooms.