Long before you could buy movies out of the air and use mind control to have them delivered directly to your t.v., they had these things called video rental stores. These were store fronts FILLED with black boxy movies-on-video-tapes. The tapes were the size of three-ring binders which you could rent for two or three days, and when you returned them, you could pay a gazillion dollars for the privilege. And because there weren’t enough of the new-fangled video tape players to go around, you could rent those at that store too! The video tape player even came in its own hard-sided, tuba-sized carrying case for convenience.
One Friday night, many eons ago, Hubby (then Fiancé), my oldest sister, and I went to such a place as described above and rented such things, also as described above.
Originally, I think we were looking for something along the lines of “Beetlejuice.” But my sister insisted that we should instead rent something called “Day of the Dolphins.” It starred George C. Scott and our dad really, really wanted to see it.
Have YOU ever seen “Day of the Dolphins” starring George C. Scott? No?? Shocking, because it had George C. Scott in it. He was a scientist, and he and his wife gave birth to dolphins which they then taught to TALK!!! Bet you wish you’d seen it now and I was just kidding about the birthing part, but NOT the teaching to talk part. I can’t really remember how it ended, though. I’m thinking it’s highly likely the dolphins went rogue and murtalized an entire beachside town. Or maybe it was something more along the lines of “the dolphins got kidnapped by communist spies who hoped to use them to take over the world.”
No matter. What I do actually remember is that the main dolphin (named Pha, pronounced Faw, as in Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly, fa la la la la, la la la PHA) could only say a few words. Side Note: George C. Scott must have been a really crappy dolphin scientist because, despite this being his life’s work, Pha could only ever say things like: Pha loves Pa; Pa loves Pha; Pha loves Ma; and so forth. Oy. You get it. Very limited vocabulary, mostly rhyming. Not sure what the spies hoped to do with that.
Two things at this point I wanted to mention: 1) Why, for the love of all that’s holy, would my father want to see this movie?!? I think it was my sister who really wanted to see it and she made up that ‘Dad wants to see it’ part. And 2) Why, for the love of all that’s holy, would George C. Scott be IN this movie??! I’ve seen George on Broadway in a Noel Coward theater-in-the-round thingy, and he seemed smarter than that.
Why all the crazy talk about the crazy dolphin talk? Because it’s Father’s Day and I wanted to do my own rendition of Pha loves Pa. ‘Cept mine goes a little something like this…
I love you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.
P.S. Hi, Hubby. Happy Father’s Day and love you, too. Remember that awful movie?? Did we ever figure out why my dad would want to see it??!