Have you seen this video by Ylvis that I’m quoting from? It’s hard to describe; It’s too bizarre to be believed. It starts out with a cocktail party where all the attendees are dressed as animals whose ‘sounds’ can be clearly defined. (For example, the elephant goes “toot.” Yes, “toot.” Why? How do YOU think an elephant goes?!)
Then we switch to a shot of waitresses-from-high-end-steakhouses dancing in the woods and wearing fox ears while the lead singer (in full fox regalia, natch) asks the eternal question: What does the fox say?
At some point Santa appears. It’s dress-down Friday and he’s sitting in a rocking chair with a boy on his lap and they’re reading from a book about what the fox says. (Joff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!)
Eventually a query is made as to how the fox would communicate should it ever meet a friendly ho-o-o-o-rse. (Hint: It would communicate by mo-o-o-o-rse.)
Oy vey. Ok, I can’t go on anymore with this. It makes it sound like there was a bad “trip” somewhere in my recent past. So suffice to say, you’ve gotta see this video for yourself, if you haven’t already: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jofNR_WkoCE.
Hey! Speaking of foxes…heh-heh-heh, funny how that works. Get your own blog if you want a smoother segue…we have two foxes in our backyard that spend their days tormenting my dog. Especially when they tip-toe along the top of the fence like massive, overgrown squirrels.
In return, the poor dog spends his whole day gazing out the window. Or sitting on the back porch. Waiting…waiting…sniffing…sniffing the air…and waiting…for these creatures to show up and 1) totally ignore him or, 2) drive him bonkers.
[And if you think the dog’s day sounds eerily similar to mine, then you can just shut it! SHUT IT! Because – while there may be some “waiting for creatures” and a good deal of “being driven bonkers” by same – there’s NOT actually a lot of “sniffing” in my day. So there. Well…except for when I’m cleaning the bathrooms. But I’d consider that more “gagging” than “sniffing.” So, SHUT IT ALREADY!]
As a side note, the foxes’ fur is GORGEOUS. Now I can see why people would wear it wrapped around their neck. With the little foxy face still attached. ‘Cause that’s what I’d do if I ever got my hands on a fox. And its fur. Or maybe I’d go in more of a muff direction? So I could have a place to stick my cold hands?? It’s hard to say. But it’s nice to know I have options. (Settle down, PETA. I’m joking.)
But even after all this quality time the dog and I have been spending with the foxes, I still don’t know what they say…but I do know how they smell.
The secret of the fox? The ancient mystery?? Is that it smells like hell. Skunk-hell to be exact.
Ok, I lied. Are you happy? Turns out there IS sniffing in my day. Especially when I kiss the dog’s face after a long day of mutual bonkerific waiting, only to find that it smells like…SKUNK! What? WHAAAT?!? What has been going ON??!??
GAAAAAACKKKKKKKK!!! Ok, and now gagging…sniffing AND gagging…gaaaack!…yep, definitely gagging. At least I told you the truth about the gagging…gaaaaackkkkk!
The foxes are cute, but they REEK! Who cares what they say – they have to go!
And we’ve reached our final decision: Barkeep, I’ll have a muff for me and one for all my friends!*
*PETA, I am still totally kidding. Who would give fox-fur muffs to their friends anyway? That’s a terrible gift since they smell like SKUNK. (the fox-fur muffs, NOT the friends hopefully)