15 miles to the…Love Shack

Goin’ to the airport is always so enjoyable, don’t you agree?

Before I leave home, I always make sure I have three cups of coffee and absolutely no food.  I find this cranks up the fun level exponentially.  And is a great idea.

Ok.  Scratch that.  It’s actually a bad, baaaaaad idea – which is exactly what I thought to myself halfway to the airport when I came to a full stop in construction.   I thought it again when I got to the entrance of east long-term parking only to have the entrance sign start flashing “FULL!”   Whaaaaat??  What the frickety frickety frick frick?!?   I have to PEE, People!  And I’m starting to get the shakes!!

Then I thought it a third time after I drove around WEST long-term parking for a HALF HOUR looking for the one spot left in the whole kingdom.   I thought it a fourth and FINAL time as I ran for another FIFTEEN minutes from long-term parking to the terminal.  Gang Way!  Shakey McGee has to peeeeeeeee!!!

My thighs were quaking and sweat was pouring down my back by the time I got to the…er…stall, but all’s well that ends well.  Now, not another PEEp heh heh heh out of me about that.

What I REALLY wanted to mention about the enjoyable airport experience are the lines.

First off, there was the security line with a dog walking up and down sniffing everyone’s bags.  What’s he gonna find, exactly?  Stowaways??  Or in our heart-of-hearts are we all hoping he finds something more exciting?!  I’m sure I’m not the only one surreptitiously looking around trying to peg the drug-runner-about-to-get-his-throat-ripped-out-by-a-beagle.  My money was on the twenty something grunge queen who actually RECOILED from the beagle.  But the beagle didn’t do anything.  So no cause for alarm, I suppose.

In addition to the grunge queen, there were a couple of other gems in line with me.  Behind me was a teen in tears whose nana was assuring her that it was an old phone anyway.  And that losing it was just good practice for when she goes to Italy.  (Huh?  Good practice how?!  For crying in ITALIAN??)

And in front of me?  A frazzled mother with twin one year olds in a side-by-side stroller.  The TSA agent informed her that her license had expired.  The frazzled mom just started to laugh.  And laugh.  And LAUGH long after I had skirted past her.  (I remember those days, Sweetheart.  It does get better.  In the meantime, check with the beagle.  He may have something to help you out.)

And when you’re done with the security line, you get to stand in the Southwest boarding line.  I find that this rounds out the good time.

B52 was my boarding position.   And all I have to say here is: Hop in my Chrysler.  It’s as big as a whaaaaale!  And it’s about to set saillllll…Love shack, baby, love shack!  (Love Shack released September 1989 by the B-52’s on their album “Cosmic Thing”.)

And once again, I’ve proven that there IS an 80’s song for every moment in life – even for that moment when you’re standing in the Southwest boarding line with a bunch of fools who know absolutely NUTHIN’ about numerical order.  You would think Southwest was asking them to line up by HEIGHT or birth-month for the love.  Sign says, ‘Stay away, FOOLS’ ‘Cause love rules at the LO-uh-uh-VE SHACK!…

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