This is my favorite time of year…where you can watch BOTH baseball AND football games all Sunday long. Yippee!!!
You have to know I’m lying here, right? I can’t STAND the time-suck that these sports are. Nor can I stand the useless conversations they engender. Case in point? Sunday’s conversation with Hubby during the Bronco’s game…
Me: “Ok, now we’re jumping over to baseball? Why is baseball still going on?! I thought they were called the Boys of SUMMER?? It’s October! WRAP. IT. UP! Didn’t they have the World Series already??”
Me: “Now we’re back to football. When sports overlap like this, they need to cut someone’s season short. And that’s ridiculous! They just called him for unnecessary roughness?! That’s a total joke. The entire THING is unnecessary. And rough.”
Hubby: “You know Sonny got called for unnecessary roughness during his football game Saturday?”
Me: “No. I didn’t know that. Is that when he was standing there and the kid ran into him and bounced off?”
Hubby: “Yep. But that was a ticky-tack call anyway.”
Me: “Ticky? Tack?! Is that an actual phrase? Is that an actual phrase sanctioned by football people?”
Hubby: “Yep. It means ‘tacky’ or ‘cheesy’.”
Me: “Ok, why not just SAY ‘cheesy’?? This is what I HATE about football. It’s so in the weeds with the nonsensical minutiae about rules. And? It has its own LEXICON*! Ticky-tack?! So annoying.”
[…lower your sperm count. Other complications include enlarged or painful breasts. Problems breathing while you sleep. Blood clots in your legs. Axiron is flammable until dry. Let Axiron dry before smoking or going near an open flame…]
Hubby: “Good Lord! What is THAT for?? Low T?!? What a fad. Why would you take something that’s WORSE than the fad?”
Oh. And also the commercials. This is my favorite time of year because you can watch baseball, football AND horrific man-specific commercials all Sunday long.
*Yes, I actually say words like ‘lexicon’ during casual conversation. Don’t you?