The Scan Scam

Duh duh da-da-da-da DUH DUH duh da da da duh duh duh DUH da da da duddleuddleuddleDUH!  (Get it?  It was the Can-Can music.  ‘Cause Scan Scam sounds like Can-Can.  That took too much ‘splainin’ time.  If you can’t spot right away that I’m witty and clever, then I can’t help you.  Please forward this blog on to someone who Can.  Can.   Hee hee hee)

So…yesterday, I’m sitting there blogging.  And this weird warning pops up on my computer screen.  It’s all in red with X’s everywhere and it says, “POTENTIAL THREAT DETAILS!”


What should I do?!?

So being the computer guru I am, I take a computer picture of it (Shift-Print Screen) then put it into an email (Control-V) and send it to my husband who’s on a business trip.

His plane just landed and he texts me back immediately with, “Run another Essentials scan to confirm virus.”

To which I reply, “That warning just popped up, I wasn’t doing anything.  So how do I run the Essentials whatsy whozit?”

Him: “Microsoft Essentials can be found under Programs.  Run a quick scan and then a full scan.”

Hmmm…ok.  Is there a button for that?!  Beebeebeeebee.  (That’s me making that dumb-dumb sound while running my finger rapidly up-and-down over my lips.)

Eventually I figure it out (hint: type “Microsoft Essentials” into the “Search Programs and Files” box with the little magnifying glass next to it) and run the Quick Scan.

Nothin’.  But I can hear – very faintly – some carpenter ants inside the computer munching on all of the important words stored in there.

I run the Full Scan.


I am now out an hour-and-a-half of my day.

And that is what I am calling the Scan Scam.  What was that all about anyway?!  Just remindin’ me I have them-there Microsoft products on my laptop?!?  What a waste of time!!!  I am very busy.  I have LOTS to do.

And now?  Now it’s time to dance!  Duh duh da-da-da-da DUH DUH duh da da da duh duh duh DUH da da da duddleuddleuddleDUH!

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