Crown of Thorns

Have you seen this Lenten Scam?  It’s called a Crown of Thorns.










Some “lucky” group of sinners wins it at an innocuous Friday Fish Fry and then spends the rest of Lent being worthy of it.  The point is to pull out all the toothpicks – one toothpick for every good deed you do.  By Easter Eve, you should have all the toothpicks long-gone and then you can decorate the triumphant Crown of Thorns and reflect on how GOOOOOOOD you’ve been preparing for Christ’s rising.

The problem we’ve run into is that this is TODAY’S picture.  We’re at T minus 2.  And there are a LOT of toothpicks left.  Too many in fact.  We’re not gonna make it.

(Now, if I had said “We’re not gonna TAKE it,” that would be cause to resurrect my 80’s-song-for-every-moment-of-life theory.  But I didn’t.  Instead I worked the word “resurrect” as a pun into a blog about the Crown of Thorns.  Either way, I win.  And so do you.  Thanks for stopping by.)

The main flaw-in-the-plan as identified by my husband is that “there are about 150 too many toothpicks for any one family.”

The main flaw-in-the-plan as identified by me is that “the toothpicks have somehow been BAKED into the crown and now won’t come loose despite our best efforts.”  In essence, this whole thing has devolved into a King Arthur sword-in-the-stone effort; One that leaves you with splinters in your fingers.

But now?  Now we’re in a mad scramble to get the toothpicks gone (break ’em off if you have to – success at all costs!).

Puppy pee-pee’d outside?  Pull a thorn for him!

Sonny (who continues to hold out hope that there might be some way we could actually EAT the bread crown once the thorns are all gone) came down for breakfast after TWO reminders instead of FIVE.  THREE thorns for him!!

Sissy’s uniform skirt made it NEXT TO the dirty clothes hamper?  It’s a pull-one-get-one-free special!  

So.  The lesson here is…should you be the lucky “winner” of a Crown of Thorns next year…give it away to another family of sinners as your Lenten Good Deed.  Either that or stop being such a family of sinners.  At least  for 40 days.  Is that too much to ask?  Now pass the olive-oil-and-balsamic-vinegar.  This is gonna taste GOOOOOOD!

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