Go, You Chicken Fat, GO!

Did I ever mention I have two older sisters?

When we were growing up, Most Honorable First Older Sister had her own-room-with-a-double-bed while I had to share my bedroom-with-twin-beds with Second Older Sister.  Naw!  Not still bitter about that or anything.  Why?  What gives you THAT impression??

And to make matters worse, Most Honorable First would sometimes take advantage of her “own bedroom” status by putting a table across the threshold and holding a candy sale.  No one was allowed in the bedroom, you could only transact from the door.  And the candy consisted of all her old and broken Christmas candy (and maybe some Halloween leftovers too).  The sale was usually held in July and I believe I may have been her best customer.  Cut me some slack – I was five!  But at least I paid for my candy.  Second Older used to just steal it from under Most Honorable First’s mattress.  Oopsie!  Did I let the cat out of the bag on that one?!?

But on the bright side, the bedroom I shared with Second Older contained the record player.  This resulted in our room being Dance Party Central.

Technically, I suppose, one could have attached the blue, fabric-covered top onto the base of the record player using the buckle-y things on the side and ported it to another room by aid of the handle on the top.  But one did not do that and instead it just stayed in my shared (I SAID IT’S NOT AN ISSUE ANYMORE, WHY WON’T YOU LET IT GO ALREADY?!) bedroom with that fat, black cylinder attached to the middle part so it was perpetually ready for any ol’ 45 record that might come along.

Which  they did.  Frequently.  We had plenty of little, long-playing records in Dance Party Central.  One of which my grandmother had given us entitled, “Chicken Fat.”

My sisters and I would play it and goose step around the room, fast-like.  And then lie down and do some air bicycles.  I couldn’t say for sure that those motions went with the lyrics since I never did listen too closely (well, other than for the “Go, you Chicken Fat, GO!” part which we would all belt out mid-exercise).  Mostly, I spent my time during that song picturing the weird globs of yellow stuff that you would find floating at the top of the Chicken and Stars soup can when you first open it…wondering WHY my grandmother had given us the record…determined to find out when the next candy sale was gonna be.

While this stroll down memory lane has been super fun and all (and not bitter in any way), where I’m going with all of this is that I just saw that Apple iPhone 5s commercial today.  Have you seen it??  THEY PLAY THE “CHICKEN FAT” SONG!!!

But it has NOTHING to do with grandmothers, bedroom candy sales, dance party central or Chicken and Stars soup.

Weirdos.

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