Remember that blog where I bought the Wahl Deluxe Complete Haircutting Kit at Costco so as to save money by cutting my son’s, husband’s and dog’s hair?
Well, that plan has been a resounding success!
Ok. Not at all.
The Boy: My son’s hair looked like (in his own words) a “muffin top” after I got done with him. I explained to him what a muffin top actually means to the majority of the world, but I did have to agree that his hair was oddly poofy on top and in the bang area. This had the unfortunate side-effect of making him look kinda muffin-y up there. Which necessitated two more trims after the first one. And I’m not even gonna mention anything about the human hair that was spread all over the backyard afterwards (that’s where I cut Sonny’s hair. On a stool. In the back yard. On a drop cloth. Where else was I supposed to do it? The kid has a LOT of hair and I didn’t want it in my HOUSE!). Not only did the human hair accidentally-scattered-by-the-wind-into-all-of the-trees-and-bushes NOT keep the rabbits, prairie dogs and voles away as we had hoped – but it is now hopelessly embedded in the clothing we wore that day, never to come out.
The Husband: Cutting my husband’s hair was a breeze compared to the above. I took the clippers all the way down to “0” (meaning no attachments, just sharp, angry steel between me and his head). And afterwards it looked like he had gone to the barber for a $15 head shave! Admittedly, weird crouching in the shower stall on both our parts was needed to accomplish that look. I’m pretty sure the barber wouldn’t have done it that way. Despite the positive results, the negative side effect of that experience was what I’m calling a “hair splinter” that I got in my nose. Well…actually…not IN my nose. But ON it. I took a picture of it because it’s too crazy to be believed. A tiny piece of hair the size of splinter was actually embedded IN the skin ON my nose. I had to use squeezing/pinching maneuvers and tweezers to remove it. No. I’m totally not kidding. Who even knew this was possible??
The Dog: Here are the before and after pictures of the dog’s haircut. The pics look pretty much the same, don’t they? Well, except for those few tufts of hair on the grass in the second shot. That’s about all I was able to get off of him before I gave up. The instruction booklet never said that sweet, Wheaten Terriers turn into Tasmanian Devils when confronted with clippers. That sort of stuff should REALLY have been mentioned. ‘Cause they do. And he did. So I gave up in abject terror after he took me AND Sissy down with his fourth double barrel roll. You know the kind. They’re the ones alligators use to break their victims’ necks as they are bringing them to the bottom of the pond to die of a broken neck AND drowning before they eat them. With their sharp, sharp teeth.
So…where does all of this leave me? I’m out 40 bucks for the haircutting kit. Sonny looks like Edward Scissorhands got drunk and went medieval on his a$$. Hubby is more bald than when we started. And the dog looks like he has a case of mange. And NOW? Now I need to shell out another 50 bucks to repair the damage.
Yep. That went well. Savin’ money every which way. Don’t you agree?