Let me tell you about my new carpet. My new NEW carpet. We had new wall-to-wall carpet installed in the family room the week before Thanksgiving to replace the old one the dog did irreparable harm to. Stupid dog.
Hey, Mr. Carpet Installer, this carpet you’re installing the week before Thanksgiving seems a little dark. Are you sure this is Tiger’s Eye and not Black and Tan?! Oh, it IS Tiger’s Eye and NOT Black and Tan?!? Ok, because it seems a little dark for Tiger’s Eye since it only has the black and tan in it.
Turns out it WAS Black and Tan and NOT Tiger’s Eye. %^&$#!#&*&^%%&#$!!!
So the week AFTER Thanksgiving (and my parents visit where they missed seeing what-was-supposed-to-be-amazing-and-perfectly-coordinated-carpet) the carpet installers came BACK to put in the new NEW carpet in the correct color. Or as a friend of mine describes the whole carpet clusterbomb, “Hashtag First World Problems.”
Hi, Mom and Dad! That was a fun visit. Especially that part about the 1,000 piece puzzle we you were staging on top of the coffee table, but didn’t finish because it was 1,000 tiny annoying pieces with a lot of leaves and apples. You’ll be pleased to know that the carpet installers managed to move the coffee table off of and back on to the new rug with not a piece out of place. We eventually finished it, but thanks for the great head start!
I thanked the carpet installers for being so careful with the puzzle. I mean, when you’re only 25 pieces away from success, you don’t want anything to mar the effort. To which the head installer replied, “I don’t see puzzles much anymore. I used to see a lot of puzzles in PRISON. Some guys could do those puzzles really fast.”
Oh. Oh. Uhm….ok. I wasn’t expecting that. FAST you say? Sounds like you’re being a little judge-y about the puzzle speed in this house.
But the new NEW carpet is in! It’s Tiger’s Eye* NOT Black and Tan.
*And I’m not even gonna go there with the 80’s Song for Every Moment in Life game. Because Tiger’s Eye? Eye of the Tiger?!? It’s too easy and you readers are sitting fish – like shootin’ ducks in a barrel. Because “Eye of the Tiger” is a song by American rock band Survivor which was released on May 29, 1982 as a single from their third album Eye of the Tiger and was also the theme song for the film Rocky III, which was released a day before the single. But like I said, that’s too easy for someone at my skill level, so I won’t go THERE with THAT. Also? Who needs to play the Rocky III theme song in their head every time they look at their family room carpet!?!