My mother just reminded me that November 9, 2013 was the TWENTY-FOURTH anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall.
Whoa. Wait up. What?!?
The Berlin Wall fell TWENTY-FOUR years ago last week?!? That’s totally impossible. Because I was there when it fell, and I’m only twenty-four NOW. [Ok, maybe not REALLY twenty-four, just MENTALLY twenty-four…but still. I suppose that old adage about time flying blah, blah, blah is totally true.]
I still have all the pieces of the Wall I got when I was there. [Well, besides the pieces I gave away as GIFTS! I mean, come on! How many times in your life do you get to give away pieces of some ratty-tatty wall as GIFTS?!? Work it, Girlfriend!) The pieces I have left are somewhere in the basement. I’m sure they’re filled with asbestos and e.Coli, but perhaps if I go hunting for them, I’ll find my misplaced job there too?
I’ve always maintained that I didn’t LOSE my job; they TOOK it instead. The word ‘lose’ connotes a misplacing of my job (perhaps accidentally?) with last year’s Christmas decorations. Well, it’s almost time to take out the Christmas decorations again, and I’m pretty sure I won’t find my job there. But maybe I WILL find my job with my pieces of the Berlin Wall?? Maybe??!
You say no? Well screw you! AND the horse you rode in on. Don’t be sooooo negative! I can’t stand your negative attitude. Move along.
Ok, if you’re not gonna move it, then I’ll tell you one other story about my Berlin Wall days.
My friends and I ‘borrowed’ butter knives from the youth hostel where we were staying – mistakenly thinking that we were going to USE them to CHIP OFF pieces of a CONCRETE asbestos, miner-lung-causing wall that had stood for DECADES. Yep, with flimsy butter knives.
That didn’t work. Surprise, surprise.
But you know what did?! Chatting up the guys we met as we went through Checkpoint Charlie did the trick! These kindaguys will almost always let you follow them – and at some point they’ll procure a hammer and pick which they will let you borrow.
Then, my friends, you can go to town on the Eastern Bloc!
This Fall-of-the-Berlin-Wall experience has developed into a lifelong philosophy of mine: Celebratory people with sledgehammers ALWAYS get more accomplished than people with borrowed butter knives. Always.
With a philosophy like that, why WOULDN’T you want to hire me?!? And if you can’t do that, then at least tell me where you put my job!