Have you eaten at Chick-fil-A lately? Because when you do, it’s kinda like starring as the Princess in your very own Princess Bride movie. This, I highly recommend.
‘Cept instead of Cary Elwes as Westley-the-Stable-Boy character in said movie, it’s mostly older women and teenage girls. And instead of SAYING, “As you wish” like Cary Westley would, the Chick-fil-A folks say “My pleasure,” when you ask them to roll themselves down the hill.
Hey! You! Just frickin’ GO with it! Why do you always have to break out the Negative Nancy talk about it actually NOT being the same thing. Because if you can’t get on board with the whole love-in-the-form-of-servitude-is-very-very-similar-to-love-in-the-form-of-nuggets-with-a-side-of-ranch-delivered-directly-to-your-table-complete-with-an-offer-of-a-napkin-a-drink-refill-and-a-mint-for-later, then you should buy a piece of pie from Chick-fil-A (they sell pie, did you know that?) and shove it! In the hole where pie goes.
Side note to this tirade: When my daughter was little she had twin plastic-headed-soft-bodied dolls. These dolls were Creep Factor Five Thousand dolls with their painted on forehead curl and weird bonnet all tucked up and around their staring eyes. But the worst part was that their faces would collect an odd amount of unexplained schmutz. They were named Fancy and Nancy. And if WE were dolls, I’d be Fancy. YOU’RE Nancy. And Nancy? You have some pie on your face. Musta missed that HOLE when you were shovin’ stuff in it.
In summation: Cary Elwes as a stable boy, ready to carry out your commands? Nummy, num, num! Almost as good as a fried chicken sammich, no?
But settle down. Cary’s not the fella for me. Because I could hip check him into a wall. That’s my test. If I could hip check you into a wall, then you’re not the fella for me. I have my own fella. And I’ve tried and tried to hipcheck him into the wall; nuthin’ doin’. It must be wuv, twew wuv.