Star Trek

Remember how fun we are?  We even started a movie theme this week.  Fun movie-themers in the house whoop, whoop!

Now, continuing with our theme–here’s what I have to say about Star Trek after watching the 2009 remake with the kids a few days ago…

Any and every Star Trek movie I have ever seen is sooooo annoying.  I never, EVER know what’s going on.  It’s like one big, never-ending math problem.  And if you miss out on the ground-floor addition and subtraction, then you’re totally hosed when it comes time to figure out how to beam people in from ships traveling at warp or how much red matter to add to the black-hole-that-the-bad-guy-is-creating in order to make it go away. 

Red matter?  Really??  REALLY?!?  Suck it, Trekees. (Trekors?  TrekDorks??)

Have I made it clear?  I HATE Star Trek movies.

And that’s even before they add the Spock-in-the-future component where he (Leonard Nemoy) comes back to talk to Spock-in-the-present-and-by-present-I-mean-still-distant-future-stardate-2250 (Zachary Quinto) to talk about the Über-future-star-date-a-million-light-years-from-now-who-cares.

And?  And this is where my head implodes into its own mini black hole because I.  Hate.  Star Trek.  Movies.  And I hate YOU Spock.  And I hate the fact that you hooked up with Lieutenant Nyota Uhura when she was young and firm and had a long, black ponytail.  But in the 1960’s future/past?  When you’re all grown up??  And our good lieutenant isn’t so young and firm anymore and in fact has a bad, short haircut with big dippety-doo curls?  Then you act like you barely even know her.  Jerk star date now.

But, I’m not a TOTAL Trek Hater.  And I CAN find the very few good things in a Star Trek movie.  For example, there’s this one part where young James T. Kirk says, “Fire everything!  Just…fire whatever we have!!” 

Yeah.  What he said.  Because I am totally on board with this approach.  Just in general.  Every day.  Fire everything.  Give ‘em everything you got.  Damn the torpedoes – full speed ahead!!!!

And then there’s that other great part.  Where the movie is finally over.  Yay!  Love that part.  And the voiceover says, “Space: The Final Frontier,” and Sonny says, “Wait!  I thought ALASKA was the final frontier.”

Yep.  That’s my fave.  

And a word to the wise here: That’s the problem with calling ANYTHING the FINAL anything.  There could always be one more final SOMETHING waiting in the wings. 

And ANOTHER word to the wise?  Live long and prosper. 

Now, not another word outta me about it–and that’s FINAL!

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