Sonny asked me the other day which child was my favorite…him or Sissy.  

Now – if you’re a mother – you’ll recall that when you took your motherhood oath, you swore that you would never HAVE a favorite child.  And if by chance you forgot that oath, and actually DID have a favorite child?  Then there was that secondary oath about never admitting which child IS your favorite.  To anyone.  Including yourself.

Of course you remember that oath.  It was after you did that secret handshake?  In the backroom??  You got a pin.  There was a color guard?  Still not ringing a bell?!?  You can’t tell me that none of this is sounding familiar.  And why are you looking at me like that?

Wait.  Was I not supposed to say anything about the oath??  Was this our own little big secret?!? 

Oopsie.  Sorry, Gals.  Tee hee hee.  [Insert nervous laughter here, and also…blink, blink…blink, blink…look at my cute, innocent face.  Is it defraying your anger yet?  ‘Cause this approach always works when your kids do it, right?]  

But really, who hasn’t tried to squeeze that info out of their own mother?  In fact, I remember how we (and when I say “we” I mean mostly me.  I pretty much KNEW I was NOT the favorite child.  I know.  Weird.) would put forth improbable scenarios to see how Mom would answer and then we (mostly me) would know; Finally KNOW who her favorite child was.  (Again, not me, but info still worth having in my back pocket for future sessions with the therapist.) 

“Mom, what if the house was on fire and you could only save one of us…which one would you save?”  But hah-HAH!  Mom, remembering the oath in the backroom with the secret handshake, the pin, and the color guard, would say, “I would save you ALL or die trying!” 

Hmmm…really, Mom?!   I have my suspicions.  Just ‘fess UP already. 

Still, when Sonny asked me the question of who my favorite child was, I was a bit taken aback.  I don’t recall my kids ever asking me THAT particular question.  And as far as I could tell, it was completely unprovoked (THAT day at least).

But being the mother of a former boy scout, I was prepared!  My response?  “Actually…I don’t like either one of you very much.”

Phew!  Oath preserved (to be tested another day, I’m sure).