Old Bags from Tennis Sucktown

Ok.  Slight problem.  There’s an email circulating from my tennis pro about the “Over 40 Tennis League” she’s starting up for the summer.  In this same email, she uses the term “Twilight” to describe the league.  And separate from this email, I’ve heard that this new team is going to be called the “Silver Team.”

AAAACCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!

I have two issues with this concept that I wanted to share with you.

Issue Number 1:  The Over 40/TWILIGHT Tennis League/SILVER team??  That’s a terrible, TERRIBLE name.  Who’s with me here?  I mean, come on!  The name alone implies that we’re a bunch of old bags from tennis sucktown who are in the twilight of our tennis careers.  It pretty much guarantees we have silver hair in varying-shades-of-blue, really saggy arms (aka flying squirrel flaps) and only one good forehand left in us before we keel over into the ball hopper.

And Issue Number 2?  As far as tennis goes (and life in general actually), I’m pretty sure people mistake me for a cute, 30-something who’s playing “up” an age-bracket or two.  But if I start stating right off the bat that I’m OVER 40, then all illusion is lost.  And while I’m not shy about stating my age outright when asked, I also love me some illusion.

So what to do, what to do?!?  I’d like to continue playing tennis in the summer.  But not with a League name like that!!!

And then I remembered.  I have a tennis pro!  Do you??  My tennis pro says we should ALWAYS put a positive spin on things.  For example, instead of asking if a ball is OUT.  We should ask if it’s IN.  See?  Positive!!  So my idea here is to put a positive spin on the Over 40 thing.

In tennis, there is no score over 40.  40 is the highest – and when you’re tied at 40, it’s called Deuce!  [Hey!  I never said I didn’t KNOW anything about tennis, I just said I WASN’T ANY GOOD AT IT!!!  But thanks for bringing THAT up, B^#CH!]

Any point after Deuce is called Add-in (if it’s your point) and Add-out (if it’s your opponent’s point).  But me and my silver/twilight/over-40 a$$ remembers that back-in-the-day, it was called Advantage You (if it was your opponent’s point after Deuce) or Advantage Me (if it was your point after Deuce).

You have to see where I’m going here, don’t you??!  If we could just change the League name from “Old Bags from Tennis Sucktown” to….”Advantage Me!” then I’m totally in.

Where do I sign up?!?

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  1. Pingback: Stilted Summer Plans | New Stay at Home Mom

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