Of Monkeys and Men

Yeah, it’s been a while. So thanks for checking back in.

I wanted to share the big news that Sonny, at the ripe ol’ manboy age of 17 (driving age is 16 here in CO), finally got his driver’s license. That was last Thursday. Then last Friday, he called me into his room to ask me if I could drive him to a friend’s sports game yet that morning. He was sitting on the bed, still in his pj’s, watching dumb crap on his phone while the summer slips away…

And since he’s more interested in what’s on his phone than in getting a summer job so he can live the almost-an-adult life he’s always going on about, I used the request as a “teaching moment.” (Sonny loves this so I do it frequently just to please him.)

Me: “You know what would be super cool is if, instead of looking at your phone all day, you got a job and could drive yourself to the game in your own car fueled by gas that you paid for because you have a job.”

Him: “Shut up and get out of my room!”

Me: “Ok, good talk. Bye.” (Turning to go)

Him: “Wait, wait, Mom, come back. You gotta see this monkey video. It’s totally funny!”

And there you have it. Priorities afterall.

And now, let’s end with a rousing game of “an 80’s song for every moment in life.” I will win, natch. Coincidentally, the topic will be driving – driving songs, or songs about driving, or about cars, or people sitting in cars, or about people parking in cars. 

Hang onto your hat, you’re gonna be amazed! Commence project shock and awe! 

(from memory)

  • Sister Christian, Night Ranger 1983 – You’re motoring! What’s your price for flight?!
  • Jack & Diane, John Cougar (Mellencamp) 1982 – Jack, he’s gonna be a football star. Diane’s debutante, back seat of Jacky’s car.
  • Boys of Summer, Don Henley 1984 – Nobody on the road, nobody on the beach…I’m driving by your house though I know you’re not home.
  • Little Red Corvette, Prince 1982 – I guess I should’ve known by the way you parked your car sideways that it wouldn’t last.
  • Driving My Life Away, Eddie Rabbit 1980 – Ooh, I’m drivin’ my life away, lookin’ for a better way for me, Ooh, I’m drivin’ my life away, lookin’ for a sunny day.

Shall I stop?? No!?! Shock and awe continues…

  • Freeway of Love, Aretha Franklin 1985 – We goin’ ridin’ on the freeway of love, Wind’s against our backs, We goin’ ridin’ on the freeway of love, In my pink Cadillac,
  • Cadillac Ranch, Bruce Springsteen 1980 – Cadillac, Cadillac , Long and dark, shiny and black , Open up your engines let ’em roar, Tearing up the highway like a big old dinosaur.
  • Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My Car, Billy Ocean 1988 – Get outta my dreams, Get in to my car, Get outta my dreams, (Get in to the back seat baby), Get in to my car.

Come on! You gotta be impressed at this point!! What’s that you say? Seems a little unbalanced!? Unbalanced schmunbalanced. I say gifted. Just for that, here’s some more…

  • Drive, The Cars 1984 – You can’t go on, Thinking nothing’s wrong, oh no, Who’s gonna drive you home, Tonight?
  • Fast Car, Tracy Chapman 1988 – You got a fast car, I want a ticket to anywhere, Maybe we make a deal, Maybe together we can get somewhere.
  • Danger Zone, Kenny Loggins 1986 – Revvin’ up your engine, Listen to her howlin’ roar, Metal under tension, Beggin’ you to touch and go.
  • Same Old Lang Syne, Dan Fogelberg 1980 – Went to have ourselves a drink or two, But couldn’t find an open bar, We bought a six-pack at the liquor store, And we drank it in her car.

Wait, not done yet! 

  • Where the Streets Have No Name, U2 1987 – I want to run, I want to hide, I wanna tear down the walls that hold me inside, I wanna reach out and touch the flame, Where the streets have no name.
  • I Drove All Night, Cyndi Lauper 1989 – I drove all night to get to you, Is that alright, I drove all night.
  • Love Shack, B-52s 1989 – Hop in my Chrysler, it’s as big as a whale, And it’s about to set sail! I got me a car, it seats about twenty, so come on and bring your jukebox money!

Well, that was fun. And of course I won; but thanks for playing. If I can remember allll of that, it kinda makes you wonder what truly important, or very recent stuff has plopped out the other side due to overcrowding. 

Anyway, yeah, it’s been a while. So thanks for checking back in. Have I told you yet that Sonny just got his drivers license?!? 

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