Whenever I speak to a particular former work colleague (Hi, PC-J!), she always asks: “Have you found a job yet?”\u00a0 Invariably followed by:\u00a0 “But you’re saving money now…so maybe you don’t need a job, right?”<\/p>\n
Uh.\u00a0 Ok.\u00a0 Right!\u00a0 Sure.\u00a0 What she said.<\/p>\n
But all those Cosmo articles I’ve read over the years about how you save money when you become a stay at home mom always mystified me.\u00a0 I mean, dry cleaning?\u00a0 Really??\u00a0 You have that MUCH dry cleaning that once you start wearing sweats it turns out you never needed a job in the first place?!\u00a0 Come on!<\/p>\n
And COMMUTING costs??!\u00a0 Where are you LIVING that it costs that much to get to where you are WORKING??<\/p>\n
Since I didn’t A)Work for Cosmo and B)Live in NYC – those articles never made sense; And in reality, weren’t really practical.\u00a0 So…here’s the home-mom-keepin’-it-real, tried-and-true\u00a0list of how to REALLY save money, honey.<\/p>\n
How do I save money now that I don’t have a job?\u00a0 Let me count the ways (in no particular order):<\/p>\n
1.\u00a0 Don’t buy Girlscout cookies.\u00a0 And if you have to?\u00a0 Buy ONE box from the girls-with-the-foldable-table outside Wal-Mart and NOT $180 worth from the Girlscout “supplier” living under your roof.\u00a0 In fact, don’t have a Girlscout living under your roof.\u00a0 They’re cute in their green clothes, but they’re expensive<\/p>\n
2. USE the coupons you clip.\u00a0 Don’t just clip them.\u00a0 And keep your HUGE, disorganized, accordion coupon folder in your CAR.\u00a0 Not on the desk in the kitchen at home where it won’t do you any good.\u00a0 ‘Cause there’s never any shopping that happens in your kitchen.\u00a0 Am I right?\u00a0 And again, remember to USE the coupons.\u00a0 DON’T remember to use the coupons AFTER\u00a0you’ve made your purchase and are back in the car where the coupons are!\u00a0 Gaaahh<\/p>\n
3. Stop eating out.\u00a0 Eat at home more.\u00a0 [this is currently under investigation as a money-saving measure because I’m not sure this is working.\u00a0 I spend a LOT on groceries.\u00a0 And often forget to use my coupons.\u00a0 And find them still clutched in my hand as I’M LOADING THE GROCERIES INTO MY CAR!\u00a0 Gaaahhhhh!].<\/p>\n
4.\u00a0 Color your own hair every 6-8 weeks.\u00a0\u00a0 It’ll cost you $10 (ok, maybe $15 if you have to do that in-between-colorings-touch-up-color-kit because for some odd reason the color doesn’t last as long as when you get it done in a salon).\u00a0 But still, when you compare that to $150 you’d have to spend in the salon?\u00a0 Holy savings, Batman!<\/p>\n
4a.\u00a0 Don’t get your hair cut.\u00a0 Enter an I’m-growing-my-hair-out phase.\u00a0 But if you MUST get a haircut, go to Fantastic Sams.\u00a0 They usually have a good coupon (See Suggestion #2.\u00a0 Oy vey.)\u00a0 And if you don’t want to bother with coupons, then Great Clips has the best deal for a cut WITHOUT coupons.<\/p>\n
5.\u00a0 Organize your spices<\/a>.\u00a0 Really, I can’t stress this enough. This is basically about knowing what you have in your pantry and actually using it; NOT throwing it away because you forgot about it and now it’s expired.\u00a0 And NOT buying more of it because you forgot IT WAS ALREADY IN YOUR PANTRY!!!<\/p>\n 6.\u00a0 Be your own cleaning lady.<\/p>\n 7.\u00a0 Be your own best friend (you don’t have to go out to lunch or coffee that way).<\/p>\n 8.\u00a0 Make the children’s school lunches instead of buying hot lunches.\u00a0 Admittedly, this is an exercise in creativity for MOM because the children quickly grow bored with their Ramen Noodle cups.<\/p>\n 9.\u00a0 Ooooh!\u00a0 Buy more Ramen Noodle cups.\u00a0 They are super CHEAP and easy to make.<\/p>\n 10. Knit or hand make every Christmas and birthday gift.\u00a0 Sure it grows tiresome for the recipients.\u00a0 But screw ’em!\u00a0 It’s not about THEM!\u00a0 It’s about YOU!\u00a0 It’s ALWAYS ABOUT YOU!<\/p>\n 11. Investigate $0.99 Jean Day at your local Good Will.\u00a0 Just make sure it’s Jean Day and not the day AFTER Jean Day.\u00a0 That doesn’t do you any good.<\/p>\n 12. Everyone appreciates homemade cookies and a card for Valentine’s Day.\u00a0 And while life is like a box of chocolates, buy that AFTER Valentine’s Day when it’s 75% off.<\/p>\n 13. Don’t go to Kohl’s. Don’t even THINK about it.\u00a0 Not even if you have a Gift Card to Kohl’s.<\/p>\n 14. Re-gift your Kohl’s gift cards (see note above).<\/p>\n 15. Get books from the library.\u00a0 Remember Stitch-‘n-Bitch<\/a>?\u00a0 Now that’s good times FOR FREE!<\/p>\n