{"id":930,"date":"2013-03-05T08:39:01","date_gmt":"2013-03-05T15:39:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=930"},"modified":"2013-03-05T08:39:01","modified_gmt":"2013-03-05T15:39:01","slug":"how-to-go-on","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=930","title":{"rendered":"How to go on?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Does there come a time in everyone’s life where the decisions you’ve made seem like bad ones?\u00a0 Where you question what you’re doing here?\u00a0 And why??\u00a0 You wonder whether He really cares\u00a0if you’re on this path or not?\u00a0 And where will it all end??<\/p>\n

Well…that time has come for me.\u00a0 And Tony Horton.\u00a0 And this Dark Night of the P90X Soul he’s subjecting me to.<\/p>\n

I don’t think I’m getting anything out of\u00a0this.\u00a0 I mean, the stomach pooch (ok, blub) is maybe slightly smaller.\u00a0 Maybe.<\/p>\n

But I’m not sure it’s worth the increased visits to the chiropractor, the most recent of which was yesterday.\u00a0 I didn’t even TALK about my back at that visit.\u00a0 Instead we spent the time talking about this pain ON my knee.\u00a0 Not INSIDE my knee.\u00a0 ON my knee.\u00a0 I explained that it hurts when you touch it (or kneel on it.\u00a0 As in –\u00a0I can’t do any of your b.s. push-ups the “right” way, Tony, so I gotta support myself on my knees and now they\u00a0hurt, Jackdaw!).<\/p>\n

At which point I dutifully rolled up my pant leg so the doctor could take a closer look (My Advice: in addition to wearing cute underwear when you visit the chiropractor<\/a>, make sure you shave your legs!).<\/p>\n

“How about when I press here?”\u00a0 Owww!<\/em><\/p>\n

“Mmm hmmm.\u00a0 And how about here?”\u00a0 OWWWWWW!!!\u00a0 What IS that?\u00a0 What are you PRESSING on??<\/em><\/p>\n

“Well…it’s called a Gertie’s Carbuncle and everyone has one.\u00a0 Yours seems to be swollen and surrounded by fluid.”<\/p>\n

Ok, the doctor may not have called it a carbuncle, but it was definitely a Gertie’s something.\u00a0 And it hurts like HE## when you press on it.\u00a0 So the resolution?\u00a0 Is to rake over\u00a0it with a Pampered Chef pan scraper device.\u00a0 RAKE, RAKE, RAKE!!!\u00a0 Then rake UP the\u00a0leg where the sciatic nerve descends and throw in a\u00a0nipple tweak for good measure.\u00a0 Kidding about the\u00a0nipple tweak.\u00a0 But really.\u00a0 Would that have made it any WORSE?\u00a0 Or BETTER?!?<\/p>\n

Nope.<\/p>\n

Then the doctor put K-Tape on my Gertie’s Carbuncle\u00a0with strict instructions to “rub the tape” periodically throughout the day to disburse the fluid.\u00a0 And to ice the leg because there might be some bruising.<\/p>\n

SOME\u00a0bruising?\u00a0 Yeah – ya think??!<\/p>\n

I’ve had K-Tape once before.\u00a0 A long time ago.\u00a0 On my forearm.\u00a0\u00a0 Back when I had a job and all the tappity, tap, tapping\u00a0 I did on my keyboard in the name of software marketing brought out a Gertie’s Carbuncle on my elbow.\u00a0 When I got back to work after that\u00a0K-Tape maiden voyage, a guy in the elevator asked me in hushed tones if I had a mixed martial arts injury.\u00a0 To which I promptly replied “Yes!” and acted all intimidating and Judo-y before I got off\u00a0on my floor.<\/p>\n

K-Tape is really pretty nifty.\u00a0 And it DOES work (albeit in an obscure, needles-stuck-in-a-d0ll-resembling-me sort of way).\u00a0 But this time around\u00a0you can’t even SEE the K-Tape so what’s the point?\u00a0 No one’s gonna know what a bada$$ I am.\u00a0 Me and my\u00a0bada$$, mixed martial arts, Home Mom, P90X New Year’s Resolution\u00a0self.\u00a0 So what’s the POINT?!?<\/p>\n

Tony?\u00a0 I ask you.\u00a0 Is it worth it??\u00a0\u00a0Is ANY OF THIS WORTH IT?!?\u00a0 How can I even go on??\u00a0 I’ve got a whole ‘nother month of this crap.\u00a0 WHEN IS MY STOMACH GONNA GET FLAT?!??!<\/p>\n

Oh.\u00a0 And for your information, Tone-ster?\u00a0 I “found the burn.”\u00a0 It’s over here in the armchair, by the fireplace as I eat homemade cookies and watch Real Housewives while ICING MY GERTIE’S CARBUNCLE.\u00a0 Ya Effer.\u00a0 Hope you’re happy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Does there come a time in everyone’s life where the decisions you’ve made seem like bad ones?\u00a0 Where you question what you’re doing here?\u00a0 And why??\u00a0 You wonder whether He really cares\u00a0if you’re on this path or not?\u00a0 And where will it all end?? Well…that time has come for me.\u00a0 And Tony Horton.\u00a0 And this […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/930"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=930"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/930\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":954,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/930\/revisions\/954"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=930"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=930"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=930"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}