I was in the master bathroom this morning clipping my son’s nails.\u00a0 (Side note: I hate the term “master” anything.\u00a0 It makes it sound like someone is walking around with a riding crop in our house.\u00a0 Which is very definitely NOT what someone is doing.)<\/p>\n
He’s almost nine.\u00a0 Is that too old to still be clipping his nails?\u00a0 It’s just that I’m loathe to give him a sharp instrument and cut him loose (get it?!\u00a0 “cut”??\u00a0 hardy har har), since this is the same boy who made us all suffer\u00a0through THREE YEARS of chaotic, horrific Cubscouts all on the single promise of a penknife when he became a Boyscout.\u00a0 (btw – I didn’t promise him the penknife.\u00a0 The ScoutMASTER promised him the penknife.\u00a0 Stupid, stupid ScoutMASTER.\u00a0\u00a0Where’s a riding crop when you need it?!?\u00a0 The man should have known better.\u00a0\u00a0Because my son-who-is-mostly-monkey would “accidentally” cut off all of his fingers AND everyone else’s if he had a penknife.\u00a0 So he will never GET\u00a0a penknife.\u00a0 Ever.\u00a0\u00a0Unless we leave it\u00a0as a parting gift with his college roommate, to give to him later, after we’re done dropping him off\u00a0at school and are long gone.\u00a0\u00a0His senior year.).<\/p>\n
So…I’m clipping my son’s nails and my husband turns around from the sink and he says, “If someone asked you to show them your\u00a0nails, Sonny, what would you do?”\u00a0 And Sonny promptly holds up his hands in a cute kitty-paws-under-his-chin move.<\/p>\n
Aaaaaaah!\u00a0\u00a0(and how random is THAT question?\u00a0 Because why, WHY\u00a0would ANYONE ever even be asking him to show\u00a0them his nails??)<\/em><\/p>\n While I’m hugging my lil’ guy\u00a0for being super\u00a0cute, my husband says, “No, no, no.\u00a0 If a wrestling ref ever asked to see your nails [you need short nails to wrestle and the ref can\u00a0periodically do a nail check\u00a0– mystery solved] you would show your\u00a0nails to him like this…”and my husband holds\u00a0his hands at waist-level, palms up, with all fingers bent inwards so all his nails are visible – including the ones on his opposable thumbs.\u00a0 He looks oddly like a gorilla\u00a0gingerly cupping a sip of water in each paw.<\/p>\n And THAT, my son, is how you become a man.<\/p>\n For women?\u00a0 It’s a teeeeensy bit harder than that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I was in the master bathroom this morning clipping my son’s nails.\u00a0 (Side note: I hate the term “master” anything.\u00a0 It makes it sound like someone is walking around with a riding crop in our house.\u00a0 Which is very definitely NOT what someone is doing.) He’s almost nine.\u00a0 Is that too old to still be […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/892"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=892"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/892\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":906,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/892\/revisions\/906"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=892"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=892"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=892"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}