It’s my belief that\u00a0living with children is like living with mini drunk people.\u00a0 In general, they cannot fend for\u00a0themselves in their inebriated state.\u00a0 They can barely make it to the bathroom for a variety of bodily functions.\u00a0 They continually\u00a0leave behind\u00a0personal items (or just full-out forget where they put them in the first place).\u00a0 There seems to be a LOT of wearing shirts backwards.\u00a0\u00a0And the conversations!\u00a0 That’s the clincher.\u00a0 The rambling, top-of-mind conversations are so reminiscent of drunk-regulars-in-a-bar-at-3-a.m. (Mom and Dad, not that I’ve BEEN\u00a0in a bar with drunk regulars\u00a0at 3 a.m., you understand.\u00a0\u00a0This is all just assumption on my part.)<\/p>\n
Anyway, case in point, the breakfast conversation between my children this morning:\u00a0 [both of my children,\u00a0sitting\u00a0on stools at the\u00a0kitchen island, eating breakfast while discussing birthday cake.\u00a0 It’s my husband’s birthday, so I suppose there was impetus for the following.\u00a0 BTW,\u00a0Hi Honey!\u00a0\u00a0Happy Birthday!!!]<\/p>\n
SONNY (my son, age 8):\u00a0\u00a0Sissy!\u00a0 Mom didn’t even know what kind of cake is Dad’s favorite.\u00a0 I had to remind her and\u00a0we had to stop after\u00a0wrestling practice\u00a0last night to get the right cake.<\/p>\n
SISSY (my daughter, age 10):\u00a0\u00a0Why?\u00a0 What kind of cake did she think he liked?<\/p>\n
SONNY:\u00a0\u00a0She\u00a0thought he liked WHITE cake with BLACK frosting.\u00a0 But he likes BLACK cake with WHITE frosting.<\/p>\n
SISSY:\u00a0\u00a0Sonny, it’s chocolate and vanilla.\u00a0 Not “black” and “white.”<\/p>\n
SONNY:\u00a0 And I helped her make the\u00a0cake last night before you got home from basketball.<\/p>\n
SISSY:\u00a0 Mom, you love Dad.\u00a0 Why can’t you remember that he likes black cake with white frosting?<\/p>\n
ME:\u00a0 Hey!\u00a0 It’s got nothing to do with love.\u00a0 I’ve got too many other things in\u00a0my head to remember stuff like that.\u00a0 I can conjugate\u00a0French verbs which means there’s no room to remember favorite cakes.\u00a0\u00a0I should have just made Dad a vanilla cake with chocolate frosting and given it to him while speaking French and\u00a0called it good.\u00a0 What do you think of that?!<\/p>\n
SONNY:\u00a0 Naw.\u00a0 He would have noticed it was the wrong cake.<\/p>\n
ME:\u00a0 Well – just so you know, I don’t remember\u00a0your favorite cakes either.\u00a0 AND?\u00a0\u00a0I bet you two don’t know what MY favorite cake is.<\/p>\n
SISSY:\u00a0 Hmmm…I like all kinds of cake!<\/p>\n
SONNY:\u00a0 Yeah, me too.\u00a0 My favorite is black cake with black frosting.\u00a0 Or I could do black cake with white frosting.\u00a0 My worst is white cake with white frosting.\u00a0 I don’t actually like white cake.\u00a0 And when it’s with white frosting, that’s the worst!<\/p>\n
SISSY:\u00a0 Yeah.\u00a0 Now that I think about it, I don’t really like that kind of cake that much anyway.\u00a0 I like a big cookie-for-a-cake.\u00a0 And I don’t like carrot cake because that has walnuts in it.\u00a0 Hey!\u00a0 I like cheesecake.<\/p>\n
SONNY:\u00a0 Oh, yeah, Sissy!!\u00a0 Me too!!<\/p>\n
SISSY:\u00a0 Hey, Sonny.\u00a0 Don’t forget it’s crazy sock day today.<\/p>\n
SONNY:\u00a0 Yeah, I know.\u00a0 And I was thinking I was\u00a0going to tuck my pants INTO\u00a0my socks so you can really see them.<\/p>\n
SISSY:\u00a0 Yeah.\u00a0 That’s a good idea.\u00a0 And I’m gonna wear my boots with my socks since I don’t have gym today.<\/p>\n
SONNY:\u00a0 I don’t have Spanish today.\u00a0 That’s on Thursdays\u00a0but……………………….<\/p>\n
Anyway…back to me.\u00a0 For the record, I don’t really like cake either.\u00a0 But I could eat my mother’s apple pie (or Marie Callender’s Razzleberry pie) all the live-long day.\u00a0 If you loved me, you’d remember, right?\u00a0\u00a0Or maybe if you guzzled vodka and it was 3 a.m. this\u00a0would all make sense.\u00a0 It’s hard to say.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It’s my belief that\u00a0living with children is like living with mini drunk people.\u00a0 In general, they cannot fend for\u00a0themselves in their inebriated state.\u00a0 They can barely make it to the bathroom for a variety of bodily functions.\u00a0 They continually\u00a0leave behind\u00a0personal items (or just full-out forget where they put them in the first place).\u00a0 There seems […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/628"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=628"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/628\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":654,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/628\/revisions\/654"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=628"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=628"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=628"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}