I thought giving this blog post a catchy, Nancy Drew-esque title might pique your interest.\u00a0\u00a0Because –\u00a0really –\u00a0who wouldn’t be interested in reading…duhnt, duhnt, DUHHHN…THE CASE OF THE HOTDOG IN THE NIGHT.<\/p>\n
It all started with a call from my son’s bedroom\u00a0– oooooh say about 12:30 a.m. – “Mom!\u00a0 I need you!!!”<\/p>\n
What’s interesting about those calls-in-the-night is that you’re immediately up and running.\u00a0 No\u00a0thought needed.\u00a0 It’s instinctive.\u00a0 Or fear-driven, because you’re worried that an even bigger mess will result if you don’t get there in record time.<\/p>\n
And as a side note, I may be on to something here.\u00a0 I mean, if a burglar broke in to my house, but as he was doing so\u00a0he shouted, “Mom!\u00a0 I need you!!!”\u00a0 I’d meet him at the door with a bucket, a cool cloth and a flat gingerale and then I’d go back to bed while he robbed us blind.\u00a0 That initial adrenaline rush makes you really, really sleepy.<\/p>\n
Anywhoooo.\u00a0 Back to\u00a0duhnt, duhnt, DUHHHN…THE CASE OF THE HOTDOG IN THE NIGHT.\u00a0 What follows is an actual transcript of events after the initial “I need you” call:<\/p>\n
SONNY (not actually named Sonny – just called Sonny for blog purposes\u00a0so as to protect the innocent):\u00a0 Mom!\u00a0 I need a bucket!<\/p>\n
ME:\u00a0 Ok, Sweetheart.\u00a0 I have a bucket; Here it is.\u00a0 But really, if you’re feeling sick, let’s move this to the bathroom.<\/p>\n
SONNY:\u00a0 No, I just want to sit down for a second WITH the bucket.<\/p>\n
ME:\u00a0 Ok, I’ll sit down too.\u00a0 [now dozing, slumped over in the chair in his room]<\/p>\n
SONNY:\u00a0 Gaack!!!\u00a0 GAAAA AACCCCKKKKKKK KKKKKKKK!!!!!<\/p>\n
ME:\u00a0 [now fully awake again]\u00a0 Oh.\u00a0 Baby.\u00a0 Do you think you can\u00a0move this to the bathroom?!<\/p>\n
SONNY:\u00a0 Mmmffph.\u00a0\u00a0 MMMGGGPHHHHACCKK.\u00a0 GAAAAA AAACKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!<\/p>\n
ME:\u00a0 Ok.\u00a0 It’s ok.\u00a0 You’re ok.\u00a0 Just let it come up.\u00a0 But get it in the bucket!\u00a0 [now “gently” pressing his head-up-to-his-ears back into the bucket]<\/p>\n
SONNY:\u00a0 Mom!\u00a0 Don’t push my head into the bucket or you’re gonna make me throw up!\u00a0 GAAAAACCCCKKKKKK!!!!<\/p>\n
ME: [in my head] Buddy, YOU ARE ALREADY THROWING UP!!!!<\/em><\/p>\n <\/em>Rustle, rustle, rustle.\u00a0 Hubby arrives on the scene.<\/p>\n ME [to Hubby]:\u00a0\u00a0I told you, A HOTDOG AND A BLIZZARD AFTER THE WRESTLING MATCH WAS A BAAAAD IDEA!!!!!!!! [I can’t stress enough how shrill this ended up sounding.\u00a0 Because it’s really, really hard to take someone to task while you, yourself, are trying not to puke.\u00a0 Because let’s be honest.\u00a0 Hotdogs smell slightly like vomit as they’re going DOWN!\u00a0\u00a0When they come back UP?\u00a0 Quintissential Puke.]<\/p>\n HUBBY:\u00a0 No, it was that bowl of cereal you\u00a0gave him right before bed.<\/p>\n SONNY:\u00a0 GAAACK!\u00a0\u00a0GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAACCCCCCC CCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK Kkkkkkkkk!!!<\/p>\n ME: Ok, Buddy.\u00a0 You feel like you can move this to the bathroom\u00a0now?<\/p>\n shuffle…shuffle…shuffle<\/em><\/p>\n ME:\u00a0 [to husband who somehow is now IN\u00a0the bathroom watching all of this with big, googly eyes] Don’t just stand there,\u00a0LIFT UP THE TOILET SEAT!!!<\/p>\n Sonny says a fond\u00a0farewell to his hotdog a few more times in the toilet and then it’s over.\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n I hand the bucket of Quintissential Puke over to\u00a0Hubby to handle (Hey! Don’t feed the kid rotten hotdogs and icecream at the end of the night or you WILL pay the price)\u00a0\u00a0 while Sonny is rinsing his mouth and brushing his teeth.\u00a0 While this is going on, I head back\u00a0into Sonny’s\u00a0bedroom and…IT SMELLS LIKE QUINTISSENTIAL PUKE!\u00a0 Gaack!!! So I go into bloodhound mode to see where the smell is coming from.\u00a0 Did I not\u00a0press Sonny’s head far enough into the bucket and as a result there’s a splatter pattern somewhere?\u00a0 I sniff all over the bed (what the plan was I don’t know.\u00a0 To mark the puke splatter with some of my own?!).\u00a0 Nothing.\u00a0 I sniff the floor AROUND the bed.\u00a0 Nothing.\u00a0 I write it\u00a0off to the\u00a0sheer olfactory power of the regurgitated hotdog.\u00a0 Perhaps it’s\u00a0just a neumonic smell\u00a0because doesn’t everyone have a regurgitated hotdog experience somewhere in their youth?!\u00a0 That puts them “off” of hotdogs for the next 20 years or so??\u00a0\u00a0I’m sure my brother does and I’ll make sure he takes a\u00a0look at this blog so he can remember the good times.<\/p>\n [Back in the bedroom.\u00a0 Sonny is feeling FINE and is even “chatty” after some final nose-clearing\u00a0sneezes.\u00a0 I don’t want to even THINK about what splatter pattern happened with those.\u00a0\u00a0I have this super power where I\u00a0block\u00a0my nose from the inside.\u00a0 And block\u00a0my mind from\u00a0the horror.]<\/p>\n SONNY:\u00a0 Mom,\u00a0the thing that was really grossing me out was the CHUNKS of hotdog.<\/p>\n ME:\u00a0 Yep…………………..yep……………….Mmmffph……….<\/p>\n The one thought\u00a0that occurred to me as I was going back to bed – the ONE thing –\u00a0was that if Sonny\u00a0still wasn’t feeling well in the morning, that would be\u00a0ok because I didn’t have anywhere else to be in the a.m. and we could both sleep late together.<\/p>\n Ahhhh!!!\u00a0 The joys of stay at home motherhood!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I thought giving this blog post a catchy, Nancy Drew-esque title might pique your interest.\u00a0\u00a0Because –\u00a0really –\u00a0who wouldn’t be interested in reading…duhnt, duhnt, DUHHHN…THE CASE OF THE HOTDOG IN THE NIGHT. It all started with a call from my son’s bedroom\u00a0– oooooh say about 12:30 a.m. – “Mom!\u00a0 I need you!!!” What’s interesting about those […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/609"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=609"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/609\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":622,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/609\/revisions\/622"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=609"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=609"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=609"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}