You know what Christmas Carol you don’t hear much of anymore?\u00a0 “Christmas is Coming.”<\/p>\n
So I’m bringing it back for a final run – but with my own modifications.\u00a0 In my mind it goes a little something like this:<\/p>\n
Christmas is coming (sure is – where have you been for the last 3 months?\u00a0 Don’t act all surprised like it snuck up on you or something!)<\/p>\n
The goose is getting fat (yeah – the goose AND\u00a0my a$$)<\/p>\n
Put another penny in the old man’s hat (the old man’s hat aka the red Salvation Army bucket\u00a0manned by an aggressive bell-ringer located in front of Wal-Mart.\u00a0 And since we’re on the topic of Wal-Mart because I was just there today…what’s with all the old people walking around and holding hands?\u00a0 At Wal-Mart??\u00a0 And since we’re still on the subject, here’s an open notice to Wal-Mart: Dear Wal-Mart, when it snows, please plow the directional signage in your parking lot.\u00a0 Otherwise all bets are off and none of the morons know which lane is one way and which lane isn’t.\u00a0 Present company included.\u00a0 Hey!\u00a0 What are you looking at romantic older couple?!\u00a0 How was I supposed to know this lane was one way!\u00a0 I couldn’t see any of the arrows on the ground.\u00a0 ‘Cause they’re\u00a0all covered with snow!!!!\u00a0 Move along.\u00a0 There’s nothing to see here.)<\/p>\n
If you haven’t got a penny, a ha-penny will do (really?\u00a0 What’s a penny gonna buy nowadays?\u00a0 And a half of a penny??\u00a0 See the next part of this song for my response to that retorical question.)<\/p>\n
If you haven’t got a ha-penny, then God bless you! (yeah!\u00a0 What he said!!)<\/p>\n
But speaking of ha-pennies, I believe my unemployment checks should be starting up again any day now.\u00a0 Remember how I contested the whole severance-that-wasn’t-wages-but-yet-they-would-treat-like-wages-so-as-to-temporarily-stop-my-unemployment-benefits?!\u00a0\u00a0 Their very\u00a0effective response is no response.\u00a0\u00a0 Just waited me out.\u00a0 I guess it worked.<\/p>\n
But I’m back in the game now!\u00a0\u00a0Bring on those ha-pennies!!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
You know what Christmas Carol you don’t hear much of anymore?\u00a0 “Christmas is Coming.” So I’m bringing it back for a final run – but with my own modifications.\u00a0 In my mind it goes a little something like this: Christmas is coming (sure is – where have you been for the last 3 months?\u00a0 Don’t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/484"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=484"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/484\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":489,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/484\/revisions\/489"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=484"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=484"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=484"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}