Why did we never make it clear to our 5th grade daughter that you don’t put metal in the microwave?!<\/p>\n
It was so obvious.\u00a0 Yet I suppose it went unspoken.\u00a0 Yet why didn’t she notice that we<\/em> never did it?\u00a0 Yet why didn’t we just simply mention it<\/em> during one of the 50 gazillion times we’ve put something in the microwave?!?<\/p>\n Gah!!!\u00a0 Is there a time for a coming-into-womanhood talk about how to use the microwave that I\/we missed??<\/p>\n Oy.\u00a0 All I know is that I literally saw a nuclear cloud go up in my microwave last night as my daughter was re-heating her bean and cheese burrito left over from Chipolte’s.\u00a0 It was still wrapped in aluminum foil.<\/p>\n I’ve only heard that zipping\/zapping noise once before (it sounds kindof like lightening, yet smaller and in your kitchen…or maybe like a power line downed by a tree branch that’s arcing electricity into the night).\u00a0 That “once before” was\u00a0when my little sister put my wedding-china-with-the-gold-rim into the microwave to warm up her dinner.\u00a0 Oy is right!!\u00a0 She must have missed the coming-into-womanhood microwave talk too!!\u00a0 (Winky face and hi, Sissy!!!)<\/p>\n As I went screaming towards the microwave (keeping my head\u00a0low because I had visions of the microwave door blowing off its hinges into my lily-white face), everyone else just\u00a0sat there.\u00a0 Literally sat there.\u00a0 With mouths agape.\u00a0 No joke on the agape part.\u00a0 How many times in your life do you\u00a0literally see mouths agape?!?\u00a0 Except my daughter.\u00a0 She started to cry and run upstairs because she instinctively knew that it typically doesn’t end well if a nuclear explosion goes off in your microwave.<\/p>\n I caught her halfway up the stairs in a hug and explained that I wasn’t mad.\u00a0 That the situation was just so startling and that’s why all the yelling and ducking happened.\u00a0 That nothing was hurt.\u00a0 That it was all ok.\u00a0\u00a0That her burrito was ready to eat if she still wanted it (was that the right thing to do or was it hopelessly irradiated at that point?!).<\/p>\n Anyway…back to me.\u00a0 I took this all as a\u00a0sign.\u00a0\u00a0As far-fetched as it seems, I believe I’m\u00a0supposed to intuit something here about my own life.\u00a0\u00a0Maybe something along the lines of…everyone knows how to get a high-paying\u00a0marketing job, yet no one mentions it??\u00a0\u00a0Or…just use your powers of observation and it will come to you?\u00a0\u00a0Or…even…there was a talk my\u00a0mom was supposed to give you (or at a minimum, a pamphlet on the topic) but I missed it!<\/p>\n Perhaps I’ll just try the cry-and-run-upstairs methodology to see where that gets me!?<\/p>\n Ding!\u00a0 Bean and cheese burrito anyone?!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Why did we never make it clear to our 5th grade daughter that you don’t put metal in the microwave?! It was so obvious.\u00a0 Yet I suppose it went unspoken.\u00a0 Yet why didn’t she notice that we never did it?\u00a0 Yet why didn’t we just simply mention it during one of the 50 gazillion times […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/479"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=479"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/479\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":482,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/479\/revisions\/482"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=479"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=479"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=479"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}