{"id":4560,"date":"2017-09-01T17:46:07","date_gmt":"2017-09-01T23:46:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=4560"},"modified":"2017-09-01T17:47:29","modified_gmt":"2017-09-01T23:47:29","slug":"five-years-old","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=4560","title":{"rendered":"Five Years Old"},"content":{"rendered":"

My blog is now FIVE YEARS OLD! Can you believe I\u2019ve been offering witty insights to the blogosphere for that long?! I\u2019ve been offering witty insights live and in person for far longer, but that\u2019s not the point.<\/em><\/p>\n

You know who else is closing in on five? Our darling dog, TeddyBear. He\u2019s the cutest little feller though somewhere along the way ohhhhh about year four point five<\/em> we learned that Teddy couldn\u2019t close his mouth all the way.<\/p>\n

Sissy suffered from the same issue and so her braces were taking FOREVER to straighten her teeth out. Until the appointment where Toofuses Doc discovered that the top and bottom edges of her canine teeth were slamming into eachother so he filed \u2018em down and voila! Straight albiet needley teeth. Wish I\u2019d taken an emery board to that nonsense sooner. <\/em><\/p>\n

Anyway, Teddy suffers from the same issue where his top and bottom canines prevent his mouth from closing all the way. As a result, his front teeth are a bit\u2026lacking\u2026in their alignment and we don\u2019t love him enough to get him braces.\u00a0 So now he has a bad case of what Sissy\u2019s bestie calls \u201clittle kitty teeth\u201d and Hubby calls, \u201cteeth that look like tombstones in an Irish graveyard\u201d because they\u2019re tinier than normal and all slanted this way and that.<\/p>\n

But in honor of how much we love him and to celebrate a bit early his fifth birthday, we each created a poem for him portraying him as another creature. No,\u00a0this is NOT weird in anyway and yes,\u00a0this IS what you do for dogs you don\u2019t love enough to get braces, thanks for asking. Also?\u00a0 He would never wear his retainers afterwards, so there\u2019s that argument too.<\/em><\/p>\n

Without further ado, here are our original Odes to Teddy-as-another-creature poems in no particular order.<\/p>\n

Sonny:
\nTeddy is a little lamb
\nHe plays the fiddle in a little lamb band
\nThe \u2018and.<\/p>\n

Sissy:
\nTeddy is a little kitty
\nHis front teeth are itty, bitty
\nAnd his breath is really sh**ty
\nBut he\u2019s so cute and so pretty.<\/p>\n

Me:
\nTeddy is a little bear
\nHe hurt his paw flying through mid-air
\nWhat is the lesson there?
\nAlways beware the l\u2019il bear dare.<\/p>\n

Hubby:
\nTeddy is a little man
\nHe plays the fiddle in a little man band
\nThe \u2018and.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My blog is now FIVE YEARS OLD! Can you believe I\u2019ve been offering witty insights to the blogosphere for that long?! I\u2019ve been offering witty insights live and in person for far longer, but that\u2019s not the point. You know who else is closing in on five? Our darling dog, TeddyBear. He\u2019s the cutest little […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4560"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4560"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4560\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4564,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4560\/revisions\/4564"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4560"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4560"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4560"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}