Let me tell you about my new carpet. My new NEW carpet.\u00a0 We had new wall-to-wall carpet installed in the family room the week before Thanksgiving to replace the old one the dog did irreparable harm to.\u00a0 Stupid dog.<\/p>\n
Hey, Mr. Carpet Installer, this carpet you\u2019re installing the week before Thanksgiving seems a little dark. Are you sure this is Tiger\u2019s Eye and not Black and Tan?!\u00a0 Oh, it IS Tiger\u2019s Eye and NOT Black and Tan?!?\u00a0 Ok, because it seems a little dark for Tiger\u2019s Eye since it only has the black and tan in it.<\/em><\/p>\n Turns out it WAS Black and Tan and NOT Tiger\u2019s Eye. %^&$#!#&*&^%%&#$!!!<\/p>\n So the week AFTER Thanksgiving (and my parents visit where they missed seeing what-was-supposed-to-be-amazing-and-perfectly-coordinated-carpet) the carpet installers came BACK to put in the new NEW carpet in the correct color. Or as a friend of mine describes the whole carpet clusterbomb, \u201cHashtag First World Problems.\u201d<\/p>\n Hi, Mom and Dad! That was a fun visit.\u00a0 Especially that part about the 1,000 piece puzzle we <\/span>you were staging on top of the coffee table, but didn\u2019t finish because it was 1,000 tiny annoying pieces with a lot of leaves and apples.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be pleased to know that the carpet installers managed to move the coffee table off of and back on to the new rug with not a piece out of place.\u00a0 We eventually finished it, but thanks for the great head start!<\/em><\/p>\n I thanked the carpet installers for being so careful with the puzzle. I mean, when you\u2019re only 25 pieces away from success, you don\u2019t want anything to mar the effort.\u00a0 To which the head installer replied, \u201cI don\u2019t see puzzles much anymore.\u00a0 I used to see a lot of puzzles in PRISON.\u00a0 Some guys could do those puzzles really fast.\u201d<\/p>\n Oh. Oh.\u00a0 Uhm\u2026.ok.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t expecting that.\u00a0 FAST you say?\u00a0 Sounds like you\u2019re being a little judge-y about the puzzle speed in this house.<\/em><\/p>\n But the new NEW carpet is in! It\u2019s\u00a0Tiger\u2019s Eye* NOT Black and Tan.<\/p>\n *And I\u2019m not even gonna go there with the 80\u2019s Song for Every Moment in Life game. Because Tiger\u2019s Eye?\u00a0 Eye of the Tiger?!?\u00a0 It\u2019s too easy and you readers are sitting fish \u2013 like shootin\u2019 ducks in a barrel.\u00a0 Because \u201cEye of the Tiger\u201d is a song by American rock band Survivor which was released on May 29, 1982 as a single from their third album Eye of the Tiger and was also the theme song for the film Rocky III, which was released a day before the single. But like I said, that\u2019s too easy for someone at my skill level, so I won\u2019t go THERE with THAT.\u00a0 Also?\u00a0 Who needs to play the Rocky III theme song\u00a0in their head every time they look at their family room carpet!?!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Let me tell you about my new carpet. My new NEW carpet.\u00a0 We had new wall-to-wall carpet installed in the family room the week before Thanksgiving to replace the old one the dog did irreparable harm to.\u00a0 Stupid dog. Hey, Mr. Carpet Installer, this carpet you\u2019re installing the week before Thanksgiving seems a little dark. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4511"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4511"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4511\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4513,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4511\/revisions\/4513"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4511"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4511"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4511"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}