{"id":4357,"date":"2015-12-21T09:31:16","date_gmt":"2015-12-21T16:31:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=4357"},"modified":"2015-12-21T09:31:16","modified_gmt":"2015-12-21T16:31:16","slug":"the-polar-express","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=4357","title":{"rendered":"The Polar Express"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sissy was flipping through Christmas Specials the other day when she suddenly stopped on one and called over her shoulder to me, \u201cLook, Mom! It\u2019s the movie you ruined my childhood with!\u201d<\/p>\n

To which I replied, \u201cOh, yeah. That\u2019s a good one.\u00a0 Let\u2019s watch it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Betchyer curious to know how that movie\u2026or really me in conjunction with that movie\u2026ruined her childhood. So if you insist on hearing about it, then please sign the attached waiver because I don\u2019t want you coming back to me and saying I ruined YOUR childhood too.\u00a0 And then read the disclaimer below.\u00a0 Then we can proceed.<\/p>\n

And it\u2019s not like I ruined her whole LIFE, just her childhood, so let\u2019s get some perspective on this, please.<\/p>\n

Disclaimer: Yes, Virginia, there IS a Santa Claus. So if you\u2019re name IS Virginia and\/or you believe in Santa, please read no further<\/span>.\u00a0 YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!<\/strong><\/p>\n

I still haven\u2019t gotten your waiver, so please send that asap. But we\u2019ll proceed without further ado\u2026<\/p>\n

It was April of my daughter\u2019s 5th<\/sup> grade year.\u00a0 It was just the two of us.\u00a0 Going to a soccer game.\u00a0 And coming back from a soccer game.\u00a0 An hour-and-a-half car trip each way.\u00a0 She watched The Polar Express the whole way down.\u00a0 I listened to the Polar Express the whole way down.\u00a0 And thought the whole way down, “Hmmmm, my mother told me about Santa in 5th grade*.\u00a0 Is it time for me to do the same?\u00a0 I’ll be all kind and loving about it.\u00a0 Not all blunt and blurt-y like she was.\u00a0 And my timing is WAY better.”\u00a0 [ho, ho, ho.\u00a0 How the mighty will shortly fall.]<\/p>\n

So – when the movie wrapped up soon after the ride home started, I seized the moment…and asked my daughter if she believed in Santa. She said yes and turned the tables on me and asked me the same question.\u00a0 I said I believed that there is a “Spirit of Christmas” (thanks for that one, Mom!) and again asked her if she believed in Santa.\u00a0 She was adamant this time.\u00a0 As if this were a test of her powers of intellect and persuasion, “Yes.\u00a0 I BELIEVE IN SANTA, DO YOU??”<\/p>\n

“Sweetheart. There is no Santa.”<\/p>\n

“YES THERE IS!!!”<\/p>\n

“No, Honey. It’s your father and I.”<\/p>\n

Oh. My.\u00a0 GooodnessGodnessAgnes.\u00a0 Am I channeling my mother?!\u00a0 Her voice is actually coming out of my mouth.<\/em><\/p>\n

At that point my daughter gasped like I had shot her through the heart. Which I suppose I did.\u00a0 Then she turned her face to the window.\u00a0 And cried the whole way home.<\/p>\n

As did I.<\/p>\n

There were a few other words exchanged on that car ride home. Things like, “So…does that mean the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy aren’t real either??”<\/p>\n

Good Lord! I NEVER agreed to talking about THEM!\u00a0 It never occurred to me that she would put all of them together.\u00a0 HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS WAS COMING?!?\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

“That’s right, Sweet Girl. It’s your father and I.”<\/p>\n

Which was followed by a fresh round of sobbing from the back seat.<\/p>\n

Oh boy. This is going badly.<\/em><\/p>\n

“Sweetheart. I thought you kinda knew or suspected.\u00a0 If you think about it, the whole thing doesn’t hold up.\u00a0 It’s impossible for one man to do all of the stuff he’s supposed to do.”<\/p>\n

“BUT I DID BELIEVE. I BELIEVED!!!!”<\/p>\n

“I’m sorry Little Baby. I thought you kindof knew.\u00a0 But either way, you’re going into middle school, and I thought it was important for you to find out from me rather than end up embarrassed by insisting that there IS a Santa in front of others when there ISN\u2019T a Santa.”<\/p>\n

When we got home she threw herself on the couch and sobbed some more. At which point I was frantic because her brother-who-still-believes was due home at any moment.<\/p>\n

“Listen, this isn’t the end of the world. I know it’s a surprise and a shock and you get to take your time coming to terms with it.\u00a0 But you CANNOT tell your brother, ok?\u00a0 He gets to believe until he’s in fifth grade too.”<\/p>\n

“NO! IT’S NOT FAIR!\u00a0 I’M GONNA TELL HIM!!!!!\u00a0 CHRISTMAS IS RUINED!!!!!” No, no, Sweetie, Christmas isn\u2019t ruined, it\u2019s just your childhood that is.<\/em><\/p>\n

“No, you’re not going to tell him. And Christmas isn’t ruined.\u00a0 I truly believe that there is something called the ‘Spirit of Christmas’ Thanks again, Mom. That came from you LOOONG before there was a Polar Express movie <\/em>that makes the holiday more enjoyable as you get older.\u00a0 Even though I don’t believe in Santa anymore, I still have a great time at Christmas.\u00a0 And you will too!”<\/p>\n

“NO! I WON’T.\u00a0 IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!!!”<\/p>\n

“True. But now you can fully participate in it.\u00a0 You’ll still get gifts.\u00a0 And a stocking.\u00a0 And it will all still be a surprise.\u00a0 And you will still get gifts from everyone else – Sonny and your grandparents and aunts and uncles.\u00a0 And you still get to come down and open up all the gifts on Christmas morning as early as you want.\u00a0 And NOW?\u00a0 Now you can play Santa for others.\u00a0 For Sonny.\u00a0 Or for a less-fortunate family we ‘adopt’ for the season.\u00a0 Trust me, it will all be ok.\u00a0 It’s not like I told you to stop believing in God.\u00a0 And let’s remember what we’re celebrating anyway.\u00a0 Jesus’ birth.\u00a0 So there’s that.\u00a0 That doesn’t go away.\u00a0 He was born for us.\u00a0 So let’s remember that.\u00a0 But what you CAN’T do is ruin it for other kids.\u00a0 It’s not your place to tell them about Santa Claus. \u00a0I’m happy to answer any questions you have, but you musn’t talk to Sonny about this.\u00a0 Understood?”<\/p>\n

[sniff, sniff. Shuddering sigh] “Ok.”<\/p>\n

For the rest of that day, whenever we were alone, she would pepper me with questions:<\/p>\n