{"id":4239,"date":"2015-05-27T21:14:24","date_gmt":"2015-05-28T03:14:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=4239"},"modified":"2015-05-27T21:14:24","modified_gmt":"2015-05-28T03:14:24","slug":"a-trip-to-the-dmv-subtitled-happy-birthday-to-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=4239","title":{"rendered":"A Trip to the DMV (Subtitled: Happy Birthday to Me)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s my birthday today.\u00a0 Happy Birthday to me.\u00a0 <\/em>Which means my driver\u2019s license expires today.\u00a0 Which means that for the first time in FIFTEEN YEARS, I had to daytrip to the DMV to renew it.<\/p>\n

And that 1.5 hours the DMV and I had right there renewing my driver\u2019s license was fun, wasn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

No.\u00a0 Actually, it\u00a0wasn\u2019t.\u00a0 Because while the DMV has gone all high-tech with that nice robot lady announcing everyone\u2019s numbers, she somehow managed to get to number 321 before calling my number, 292.\u00a0 This waitfest afforded me plenty of opportunity to watch the magic unfold.<\/p>\n

As a result, I was able to identify a key opportunity for improvement in the process: GET MORE FRICKIN\u2019 CAMERAS ALREADY, DMV!\u00a0 Because that ONE camera being shared by Windows A, B, C\u00a0through-and-including Window S??\u00a0 That right there is jackin\u2019 up your sci-fi system; Makin\u2019 it all present-day and stuff.\u00a0 The resultant two-step license renewal process is\u2026amazing.\u00a0 And by \u201camazing\u201d I mean \u201ca complete clusterbomb of massive proportions.\u201d\u00a0 Especially that part where the guy with two hard casts \u2013 one on each leg \u2013 who assured the DMV employee the FIVE TIMES she asked, that he COULD drive a car with those casts on each leg, I think he lied to her.\u00a0 Because it took him a good half hour to slide down ONE\u00a0window to get his picture taken.\u00a0 I can\u2019t even IMAGINE how he\u2019s gonna drive a car by moving that slowly.\u00a0 So it\u2019s a good thing they let him have plenty of head start with his new license before they turned the rest of us loose.\u00a0 Otherwise that parking lot run-in wadn\u2019t gone be purty.<\/p>\n

Happy birthday to me.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t all doom and gloom though.\u00a0 I did especially enjoy (finally) getting my number called.\u00a0 It kindof made me feel like Prim during the Reaping, except Katniss wasn\u2019t there to take my place.\u00a0 But as I approached my designated DMV plexiglass window with the little talk-y hole in it, the \u201chelp me\u201d etched on the inside of the window did seem a bit concerning.\u00a0 Ha, ha, just kidding about the \u201chelp me\u201d thing.<\/em>\u00a0 But the window arrangement did make me feel somewhat\u00a0like a prisoner on visiting day, especially when the DMV man made me pick up the phone to talk to him all quiet-like.\u00a0 What was really cool about that was how he didn\u2019t invite me to pick up the phone until AFTER I had already shouted out my height and weight to a roomful of strangers.\u00a0 Yeah, cool.\u00a0 That was really cool.<\/p>\n

Happy BIRTHDAY dear meeee.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

But once we got on the phone, he kept me on the phone even WHILE I was taking the eye test.\u00a0 That\u2019s gotta be like a circus trick or something \u2013 talking quietly on the phone, while placing your face INTO the grody machine that hasn\u2019t been sanitized since it was installed in \u201972.\u00a0 Oh, I place my face right here where the greasy nose marks are?\u00a0 Got it.\u00a0 <\/em>And if the eye test machine hasn\u2019t been cleaned in who knows how long, can you imagine what E.coli I was picking up from the PHONE?!?\u00a0 Gaaaack!<\/p>\n

Once visiting hour was over, I had to get back in line and wait for the One Camera Wonder to take my picture.\u00a0 And at the end of ALL that?\u00a0 I didn\u2019t even get a new license.\u00a0 I just got my old license handed back to me, destroyed, and a half-slip of paper to carry around with the destroyed old license.\u00a0 They also gave me this parting advice: If the new license doesn\u2019t come in a week, come back to the DMV so they can check to see what happened.<\/p>\n

Yep.\u00a0 That there\u2019s real good advice.<\/p>\n

Happy birthday to me\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s my birthday today.\u00a0 Happy Birthday to me.\u00a0 Which means my driver\u2019s license expires today.\u00a0 Which means that for the first time in FIFTEEN YEARS, I had to daytrip to the DMV to renew it. And that 1.5 hours the DMV and I had right there renewing my driver\u2019s license was fun, wasn\u2019t it? No.\u00a0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4239"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4239"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4239\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4241,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4239\/revisions\/4241"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4239"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4239"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4239"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}