What follows is a deconstruction of a conversation I had with my 10-year-old daughter this a.m.\u00a0 Please note that my responses were all in my head:<\/p>\n
HER: Hey Mom, now that you’re a home mom…<\/p>\n
[ME: Home Mom?\u00a0 Is that like a Home Boy??\u00a0 What’up, what’up?!?]<\/p>\n
HER:\u00a0\u00a0you could stay in your pajamas all day<\/p>\n
[ME: I could but then what would carpool lady think of my lazy a$$ and how would I run all of my expensive errands?!]<\/p>\n
HER: and watch t.v.<\/p>\n
[ME: This WHOLE time while I’ve been trying to figure out what to do, watching t.v. never occurred to me.\u00a0 Maybe because I worry that once I start, I won’t stop and I’ll discover\u00a0a show that becomes “mine”\u00a0(or more likely shows plural).\u00a0 As in “Yeah,\u00a0I watch those.\u00a0 Those are\u00a0my shows!\u00a0 I love them!!”\u00a0 Also, watching t.v. midday reminds me too much of what Mrs. J (our next-door neighbor when we were growing up)\u00a0used to do.\u00a0 My mom had 5 kids, Mrs. J. had 2.\u00a0 My mom never watched t.v. – unless it was the Electric Company but I suspect that was more for my benefit than hers – but Mrs. J. watched what I mistakenly thought were\u00a0called Soap Boppers.\u00a0\u00a0They were kindof dark and\u00a0filled with minimal scenery.\u00a0 Everyone seemed to be in black and white and talking in a square, bare room.\u00a0 Maybe everyone was just wearing\u00a0<\/em>black and white?\u00a0 But I remember a lot of potted plants, and I don’t remember them being green so maybe the boppers were\u00a0<\/em>in\u00a0black and white??\u00a0 Or maybe they were in color but the t.v.’s<\/em> were\u00a0black and\u00a0white???\u00a0 Also,\u00a0there was always lots of angst and unhappiness.\u00a0 And they made me feel vaguely queasy for some reason.\u00a0 Would the actors\u00a0have been smoking\u00a0in the boppers\u00a0back in the 70’s?\u00a0 Perhaps.\u00a0 Maybe that’s why they made me feel\u00a0queasy.\u00a0 Who’s to say.]<\/p>\n HER: You could eat chips<\/p>\n [ME: Hmmm…have we now veared into a description of what YOU would do on a day off, Sweetie?]<\/p>\n HER: and drink coffee<\/p>\n [ME: Ok, maybe it was your idea of a good-time-during-a-day-off right up until the coffee thing, but\u00a0I will give you that:\u00a0I do drink a lot of coffee.\u00a0 Originally it was a habit started back when you were a weaned infant, My Dear, but still up all night; when\u00a0I had to go and put in a full day of work the next day, suddenly coffee became my best friend. Lots and lots of coffee.\u00a0 Besties.\u00a0 BFF’s.]<\/p>\n HER: and make laundry!<\/p>\n [ME: Wait!\u00a0 MAKE laundry?\u00a0 You think I MAKE laundry??\u00a0 Do you picture me going\u00a0up and rolling around in\u00a0your bed in my sweaty workout clothes just so I’ll have some sheets to change?!\u00a0 Beautiful\u00a0Girl, it’s not I<\/em>\u00a0who makes all the laundry around here.\u00a0 I do<\/em>\u00a0the laundry, but you got the wrong gal if you’re looking for the person who makes<\/em>\u00a0the laundry!]<\/p>\n ME: (out loud) Yeah – that sounds like fun.\u00a0 I could do that.\u00a0 If I weren’t so busy doing other things.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" What follows is a deconstruction of a conversation I had with my 10-year-old daughter this a.m.\u00a0 Please note that my responses were all in my head: HER: Hey Mom, now that you’re a home mom… [ME: Home Mom?\u00a0 Is that like a Home Boy??\u00a0 What’up, what’up?!?] HER:\u00a0\u00a0you could stay in your pajamas all day [ME: […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=42"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":693,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42\/revisions\/693"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=42"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=42"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=42"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}