Ok.\u00a0 Maybe not the theory of EVERYTHING\u2026just the theory of Peeps.\u00a0 MY theory of Peeps.\u00a0 But ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!\u00a0 Made ya look, made ya look, stole your mother\u2019s pocketbook.\u00a0 Kicked it in, kicked it out, kicked it in the sauerkraut!<\/p>\n
Just like sauerkraut, Peeps are very polarizing.\u00a0 There\u2019s no middle ground.\u00a0 Ask anyone their opinion about sauerkraut and they\u2019ll either act like we\u2019re discussing their most precious,\u00a0warmest, fuzziest thumb-suckin\u2019 blankie thingie from toddlerhood or they\u2019ll visibly recoil like you\u2019ve just presented them with a severed head.\u00a0 Ask anyone and you\u2019ll get either a \u201clove it\u201d or \u201chate it\u201d response.<\/p>\n
Peeps.\u00a0 You know, Peeps. \u00a0Those little florescent-colored marshmallow chicks that you see at Easter.*\u00a0 Just like sauerkraut, people fall into two camps here \u2013 the ones who love \u2018em and the ones who hate \u2018em.\u00a0 Except in the case of Peeps, people who say they love \u2018em are LIARS!!!<\/p>\n
They LIE!!!\u00a0 They LIE like a ROOMFUL OF RUGS!<\/p>\n
Because NO ONE can like Peeps.<\/p>\n
They taste like nothing and have the texture of beach sand.\u00a0 What would be the point of something like that?!?<\/p>\n
And I don\u2019t care that there are Peeps RECIPES and NEW FLAVORS and more SHAPES and an entire raging debate about \u201cstale vs. fresh,\u201d it\u2019s just a smokescreen to cover up the fact that everyone hates Peeps.<\/p>\n
Hates \u2018em.\u00a0 Just like severed heads.\u00a0 Oh I LOVE severed heads.\u00a0 See?\u00a0 No.\u00a0 No one says that.\u00a0 EVER.<\/p>\n
And if you write in and say you do actually love Peeps, or that you\u2019re going to report me to the Peeps peeps, then we\u2019ll all know that\u2019s code for how much you hate Peeps.\u00a0 And it’s further code for\u00a0how the Peeps peeps should be arrested and made to play in a sandbox when they\u2019re hungry so they can see what it tastes like.<\/p>\n
Now, please, not another PEEP out of you.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
*Happy Easter by the way.\u00a0 You know what I especially love about Easter?!\u00a0 Unlike Christmas, where Santa\u2019s arrival is super chancy due to the whole flawed human interpretation of \u201cgood\u201d and \u201cbad,\u201d Jesus always comes again at Easter.\u00a0 Always.\u00a0 Yep, love that.\u00a0 But you know what I DON’T love??\u00a0\u00a0Peeps.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ok.\u00a0 Maybe not the theory of EVERYTHING\u2026just the theory of Peeps.\u00a0 MY theory of Peeps.\u00a0 But ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!\u00a0 Made ya look, made ya look, stole your mother\u2019s pocketbook.\u00a0 Kicked it in, kicked it out, kicked it in the sauerkraut! Just like sauerkraut, Peeps are very polarizing.\u00a0 There\u2019s no middle ground.\u00a0 Ask anyone […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4199"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4199"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4199\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4202,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4199\/revisions\/4202"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4199"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4199"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4199"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}