Last evening we were on our way to the final Kid Book Club meeting at school.\u00a0 Sonny was sitting in the front seat getting up close and personal with three bouquets of daffodils, one for each group leader, as our thank you to them for putting up with the lunacy.<\/p>\n
We pull out of the driveway and start heading out of the \u2018hood when Sonny says, \u201cHey Mom.\u00a0 These flowers smell like your breath!\u00a0 Originally I thought it WAS your breath.\u00a0 But then the smell went on and on and I realized it was the flowers.\u00a0 Which smell like your breath.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll just let you sit with that for a sec\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Still sitting\u2026.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Yep, still sitting\u2026.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n You also were stunned into silence, weren\u2019t you?<\/p>\n Because if you\u2019re like me (Twinsies in the HOUSE!) you think that daffodils smell like Spring.\u00a0 Initially.\u00a0 But the more you keep smelling them, the more you realize that they ACTUALLY smell like spring flowers a dog pee\u2019d on.<\/p>\n So, in order to find out if my son thought my breath smells more like spring \u2013 or more like DOG PEE \u2013 I voiced my theory on what\u00a0daffodils smell like.<\/p>\n Sonny\u2019s response?\u00a0 \u201cYeah\u2026I agree.\u00a0 But in the case of your breath, it\u2019s not as heavy on the Spring as what you were just saying.\u201d<\/p>\n Oh.\u00a0 My.\u00a0 LORD!!!!!<\/p>\n All this time my breath has smelled like PEE (heavy on the PEE, apparently) and no one told me?!?\u00a0 I hate you all!\u00a0 Why did I have to wait until my son turned 11 and was holding daffodils before I ever heard about my breath from anyone??!?\u00a0 WHY?!??!!!!!<\/em><\/p>\n Stung and wanting to lash out at someone else, and now thinking of dogs, I adult-ly said, \u201cYeah?\u00a0 Well\u2026YEAH??\u00a0 Well, I think the DOG\u2019S mouth smells like FISH CHOWDER when you kiss him.\u00a0 At least my mouth doesn\u2019t smell like FISH CHOWDER!\u00a0It smells like FLOWERS!!!\u201d<\/p>\n The kids were silent after that.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure if it\u2019s because they wanted me to just stop clouding up the car with my PEE BREATH, already? Or if it\u2019s because MY breath sometimes smells like FISH CHOWDER when you kiss me too!!!!?<\/p>\n Ugh.\u00a0 Sigh.\u00a0 Come\u00a0up close to the screen so I can exhale right at YOU.\u00a0 A full, deep-throated exhale so you get gassed by the fumes for not telling me already about the way things are with me.<\/p>\n President Snow and I have more in common than I initially realized.\u00a0 So even though I\u2019m a stay at home mom and he\u2019s the president of Panem, responsible for the Hunger Games and completely FICTIONAL, we both have signature flowers.\u00a0 His signature flower is a rose, which he pins on his lapel in order to cover up the stench of death coming from the unhealable sores in his mouth.\u00a0 My signature flower?\u00a0 A daffodil.\u00a0 Which I will now begin carrying around so as to cover up the smell of dog pee (or possibly fish chowder) coming from my mouth.\u00a0 Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh [that\u2019s me breathing on you]<\/p>\n HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh [still breathing on you]<\/p>\n hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh [yep, still breathing on you]<\/p>\n hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Last evening we were on our way to the final Kid Book Club meeting at school.\u00a0 Sonny was sitting in the front seat getting up close and personal with three bouquets of daffodils, one for each group leader, as our thank you to them for putting up with the lunacy. We pull out of the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4168"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4168"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4168\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4170,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4168\/revisions\/4170"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4168"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4168"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4168"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}