I recently handed a waitress my driver\u2019s license, to which she replied, \u201cOh my GAWD!\u00a0 What are you WEARING in this PICTURE?!?\u201d<\/p>\n
Aw, no, Home Slice.\u00a0 You don\u2019t get to say that to me.\u00a0 Because what I\u2019m wearing completely rocked the house.\u00a0 Back in the year 2000.\u00a0 But still…\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n I had just moved to Colorado and I was on my way to a job interview when I had to stop off at the DMV to get my license.\u00a0 So I\u2019m wearing my very best Banker\u2019s Blue double breasted skirt suit (complete with blue spectator pumps but those don\u2019t show in the picture) and a scarf with cream and blue circles on an alternating blue and cream background.\u00a0 Awesome Sauce!<\/em>\u00a0 And yes, we were very matchy-matchy then.\u00a0 I know we\u2019re not as matchy-matchy now, in modern times, so it\u2019s something I\u2019m working on, thanks for asking.<\/em>\u00a0 I was also just getting used to the weather in the new state, so my hair is a disaster and looks like I have a head full of jacked up dolly hair that was styled with the wrong brush.\u00a0 In addition, I wasn\u2019t sure where to look during the picture so when the DMV employee told me to look \u201cthere,\u201d I asked, \u201cwhere?\u201d and she caught me with my mouth open.\u00a0 Again \u2013 it bears repeating \u2013 Awesome Sauce.\u00a0 Yes, the more I say it, the more you\u2019ll believe it.<\/em><\/p>\n But what you (and the waitress) don\u2019t know is that the State of Colorado, in some license anti-fakery move, put two gold state emblems on either side of my scarf.\u00a0 Set just\u2026right.\u00a0 So in low light, at the proper angle, it actually looks like I\u2019m wearing HUGE 80\u2019s shoulder pads (I\u2026AM\u2026Iron Man!) topped off with epaulets dripping gold fringe everywhere.<\/p>\n In fact, I onetime saw LaToya Jackson at the Straw Market in Nassau, Bahamas circa 1989 and she was wearing this EXACT blue-blazer-with-shoulder-pads-and-epaulets combo.\u00a0 And a cruise liner captain\u2019s hat with insignia and gold braiding.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n So \u201cTHAT\u201d is what I am wearing for all of posterity.\u00a0 Except for the captain\u2019s hat.\u00a0 That wasn\u2019t me, that was LaToya.\u00a0 But I see now I SHOULD have been wearing a hat.\u00a0 It would have covered up my totally ratchet wig.\u00a0 And?\u00a0 It also would have \u201cbrought out\u201d the gold in my epaulets in just that matchy-matchy way I like.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I recently handed a waitress my driver\u2019s license, to which she replied, \u201cOh my GAWD!\u00a0 What are you WEARING in this PICTURE?!?\u201d Aw, no, Home Slice.\u00a0 You don\u2019t get to say that to me.\u00a0 Because what I\u2019m wearing completely rocked the house.\u00a0 Back in the year 2000.\u00a0 But still…\u00a0 I had just moved to Colorado […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4160"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4160"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4160\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4162,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4160\/revisions\/4162"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4160"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4160"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4160"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}