{"id":4149,"date":"2015-02-21T15:45:18","date_gmt":"2015-02-21T22:45:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=4149"},"modified":"2015-02-21T15:45:18","modified_gmt":"2015-02-21T22:45:18","slug":"coffeecoffeecoffee","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=4149","title":{"rendered":"Coffeecoffeecoffee"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>When my daughter was maybe 6 months old, she would use the quietest times of the day (after communion prayer in church, for example) as the perfect foil for her overly loud exploration of the sound duh-duh-duh-duhduhduhduhduhDUH<em>DUHHHHH<\/em>!\u00a0 She would bust out with the noise while wearing a huge grin on her face, chubby cheeks pumping furiously.\u00a0 Coincidentally or not, there always seemed to be an inordinate amount of drool flowing down her chapped chin at times like these.\u00a0 <em>New baby toofuses much?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Anyway, for our family, that sound has come to symbolize being overly excited at questionably appropriate times, apropos nothing.<\/p>\n<p>Case in point?\u00a0 Have you heard the new recommendations which <a href=\"http:\/\/www.today.com\/video\/today\/56998201#56998201\">indicate that 3-5 cups of coffee per day<\/a> is ok for you?<\/p>\n<p>duh-duh-duh-duhduhduhduhduhDUH<em>DUHHHHH<\/em>!<\/p>\n<p>I am frickin\u2019 PSYCHED about this!\u00a0 I LOVE me some joe.\u00a0 Boyohboyohboy!\u00a0 Do I LOVE me some JOE.\u00a0 And I have NO time for those schmoes who droop around declaring they don\u2019t NEED caffeine because they have NATURAL joie de vivre.<\/p>\n<p>Shut!\u00a0 SHUT!\u00a0 SHUT.\u00a0 IT.\u00a0 Joie de vivre my a$$!<\/p>\n<p>But that\u2019s fine.\u00a0 I\u2019m fine.\u00a0 That\u2019s fine.\u00a0 Because now?\u00a0 Now the government says it\u2019s ok for me to consume MY wakey juice AND joie-de-vivre\u2019s wakey juice while I\u2019m at it.<\/p>\n<p>This approach in turn helps me enter my day with my heart in my throat and my hands grasping invisible shake weights.\u00a0 <em>MymommysaysItalktoofast.\u00a0 DoYOUthinkItalktoofast?!?<\/em>\u00a0 As I stagger off the cliff of life every morning, you can hear me shouting the whole way down\u2026<\/p>\n<p>duh-duh-duh-duhduhduhduhduhDUH<em>DUHHHHH<\/em>!<\/p>\n<p><em>And if you say ANYTHING here about my chubby cheeks and my excessive drool, I\u2019ll drink YOU\u2019RE java too.\u00a0 IwillIwillIswearIwill, so help me\u2026duh-duh-duh-duhduhduhduhduhDUHDUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When my daughter was maybe 6 months old, she would use the quietest times of the day (after communion prayer in church, for example) as the perfect foil for her overly loud exploration of the sound duh-duh-duh-duhduhduhduhduhDUHDUHHHHH!\u00a0 She would bust out with the noise while wearing a huge grin on her face, chubby cheeks pumping [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4149"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4149"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4149\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4151,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4149\/revisions\/4151"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4149"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4149"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4149"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}