{"id":4132,"date":"2015-02-07T20:58:30","date_gmt":"2015-02-08T03:58:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=4132"},"modified":"2015-02-07T20:58:30","modified_gmt":"2015-02-08T03:58:30","slug":"most-embarrassing-moment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=4132","title":{"rendered":"Most Embarrassing Moment"},"content":{"rendered":"

NOW?!?\u00a0 You\u2019re asking me for my most embarrassing moment NOW<\/em>???\u00a0 You could\u2019ve asked me YESTERDAY and I woulda trotted out my hilarious story about a breast pump and a software training class where the instructor thought I said, \u201cCome and take a seat,\u201d and therefore hustled on over when what I REALLY said was, \u201cCan I have some privacy?!\u201d<\/p>\n

See?!\u00a0 Hilarious!<\/p>\n

But TODAY?!?\u00a0 Today it\u2019s a whole different story that ends with, \u201cParent on the court\u2026TECHNICAL FOUL!\u201d<\/p>\n

Before we get there, though, let me mention that Thursday, Sissy got this thing in her mouth called a Herbst Appliance.\u00a0 It\u2019s meant to correct her overbite and it looks exactly like a twin set of Swannington Incline Engines complete with piston valves.\u00a0 I\u2019m not even joking.\u00a0 And if you don\u2019t know anything about the Swannington thingy I just mentioned, then you\u2019ll just have to picture a horrific torture device-looking appliance in her mouth which actually made a classmate CRY yesterday as Sissy was displaying it because the whole scene gives off a Cyborg Jaw vibe.<\/p>\n

So, anyway, we\u2019re in the final minute of Sissy\u2019s basketball tournament game today.\u00a0 A swirl of activity passes around Sissy and she\u2019s left standing at the top of the key, holding her throat using the international sign for choking.\u00a0 Her head is jerking up and back rhythmically.\u00a0 This continues for a full thirty seconds while all THREE refs on the court allow the game to play on.\u00a0 My husband and I are yelling that there\u2019s a player hurt, yet the game continues.\u00a0 At that point, I\u2019m convinced that something terrible has happened; perhaps a piston has come loose in Sissy\u2019s mouth and\u00a0is blocking her throat which means\u00a0she\u2019s gonna\u00a0face plant to the floor from lack of oxygen and let fly with the other piston.\u00a0 So I go running down the bleachers, on to the court and throw my arms around her, ready to support her in case her knees give way, yelling all the while to the refs, \u201cThis player is hurt!!\u00a0 STOP PLAY!!!!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

Turns out she got an opponent\u2019s wild elbow to the larynx and couldn\u2019t draw breath.\u00a0 So\u2026no broken piston?<\/em>\u00a0 \u00a0But still.\u00a0 The game continued on for WAY too long with a player hurt.\u00a0 Surely one or more of the refs \u2013 whose priority should be to ensure the safety of the players \u2013 could have noticed.<\/p>\n

Anyway, I held Sissy for a few more seconds until she was able to draw breath again, then she looked up wild-eyed, realized her MOTHER was on the COURT and HOLDING HER<\/em> in front of EVERYONE!!!<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0 So she SHOVED ME away, all the while GLARING at me and furiously whispering, \u201cWHY DID YOU DO<\/em> THAT?!?!\u201d<\/p>\n

Oh, no reason other than I thought you had metal clogging your throat.\u00a0 I see now that you don\u2019t, so I\u2019ll be leaving.\u00a0 Exit, stage left even.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

So me, my hot pink sweater and my leopard print shoes mustered our dignity and walked off the court, the closest ref staring me down the whole way.\u00a0 Once I passed him he called, \u201cParent on the court\u2026TECHNICAL FOUL!\u201d\u00a0 The opposing team actually MADE the resulting free-throw which tied the game in the last few seconds of regulation play and the whole thing went\u00a0to overtime.<\/p>\n

Oopsie.<\/em>\u00a0 Not many parents were meeting my eye after that, although a few moms did agree with me that a mother\u2019s heart trumps all ref calls.\u00a0 Yeah.\u00a0 Yeah it does.\u00a0 I even got a low, sliding five from one mom for that.<\/em>\u00a0 Hubby on the other hand told me to shut it, sit quietly for the rest of the game and\u2026DON\u2019T MOVE.<\/p>\n

But Sissy’s\u00a0team won.\u00a0 Phew!\u00a0 More parents were meeting my eye after that.\u00a0 <\/em>During the last few minutes of overtime, Sissy personally drew the fifth foul from at least three opposing players causing them to leave the game completely.\u00a0 She also made two more free throws and one more basket.\u00a0 An elbow in the larynx inspires you to greatness, I guess.<\/p>\n

And she IS great.\u00a0 In fact, she was great BEFORE that whole parent-on-the-court-technical-foul biz went down.\u00a0 She\u2019s a great athlete.\u00a0 AND she\u2019s absolutely a great person.\u00a0 I\u2019m proud to know her and to call her mine.\u00a0 Bet SHE never had a most embarrassing moment.\u00a0 If she did, I can\u2019t imagine what it would be.\u00a0 Can’t.\u00a0 Even.\u00a0 Imagine\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

NOW?!?\u00a0 You\u2019re asking me for my most embarrassing moment NOW???\u00a0 You could\u2019ve asked me YESTERDAY and I woulda trotted out my hilarious story about a breast pump and a software training class where the instructor thought I said, \u201cCome and take a seat,\u201d and therefore hustled on over when what I REALLY said was, \u201cCan […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4132"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4132"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4132\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4134,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4132\/revisions\/4134"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4132"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4132"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4132"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}